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Does your child have a cell phone?
Last summer, when Rachel, aka Single Mom Seeking, told me that she’d gotten a cell phone for her eight-year-old, I couldn’t believe my ears. Her daughter wasn’t even in third grade yet!
Rachel tried to explain: “The phone isn’t for her: it’s for me.”
I thought: How did we ever survive childhood?! Seriously, I’ve talked to many parents who refuse to purchase a cell phone for their kids until they can drive. So, I wanted to know why Rachel had made the cell phone plunge.
She described how independent her daughter was becoming: Mae was using public transportation to go to day camp. She was having more play dates and slumber parties.
So, Rachel was a bit anxious. What if Mae got lost? What if Mae needed to reach her? Or, just as importantly, what if she wanted to reach Mae?
Of course, Mae was thrilled to get a cell phone. But, as Rachel carefully explained, all the numbers stored on her phone are for family and close neighbor-friends. Mae has rarely called another child. She knows that her phone is a privilege.
When my kids were Mae’s age, there were no cell phones. Just pagers. Pagers cost literally thousands of dollars. The prevailing wisdom at that time: If you saw someone with a pager, he was either a physician or a drug dealer. In short, pagers were strictly for grown-ups.
Of course, the cost for a kid cell phone today is pocket change.
Still, I kept thinking: this child is only eight, for goodness sake. Does she really need a cell phone? And what’s the trade-off?
My kids listened intently to the “what if ” instructions because it was not possible to get in touch with me instantly. And sometimes they needed to figure things out for themselves without my immediate help. I’m not the least surprised that both my kids are capable, self-reliant young adults.
Frankly, I’m puzzled: How do tweens with cell phones develop confidence and self-reliance when Mom is always available?
If there any down side to Rachel’s quest for peace of mind?
How have you tackled the cell phone issue with your own kids?
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Ever since I first met Dr. Leah, aka The Sanity Fairy™ in 2007 at a conference for single moms, she has been very frank in her disapproval about one specific issue:
Bloggers who write so openly about their kids.
For the past three years, I’ve blogged about my daughter, including personal anecdotes, photos, and videos. I shared details about everything from her tantrums to her Hannah Montana obsession.
But Dr. Leah repeatedly warned me: “Before you know it, your daughter is going to be old enough to put her foot down.”
I shook my head. “She loves it when I blog about her.”
Indeed, at the time, I had a bubbly first grader who happily colored while I blogged. Yes, Mae had started to read — Junie B. Jones, mostly — but she showed no interest in my blog.
Jump ahead to today: Sure, Mae still happily colors while I am at the computer. But every so often, she has looked at my screen to see what I’m writing about.
Recently, when I was drafting a post about her growing up, she walked up and said, “Mom, why do you want the whole world to know about me?”
She had a point. I figured that it was an isolated incident — until we got into a morning quarrel the other day, and she said:
“I hope you’re not going to blog about this!”
Wow. Talk about a wake up call.
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Dr. Leah Klungness and Rachel Sarah are single parents — just like you!
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