Most single mums are not solo parents by choice and we should be congratulated on doing such amazing jobs raising our children. We all know it’s listed as a 2 person role which makes single parents all the more amazing that they are doing all the work on their own. Single parents need to be supported not blamed for societies problems. How about blaming the parent who walked out not the parent who is doing the best they can!

There are a few strong opinions posted here, not all that I agree with. Times have changed, parenting styles have changed. Not only because of the higher single parent rate but also due to more research being done in the psychological fields about raising children, their self esteem, the affects of smacking etc. The days of “children should be seen and not heard” are long gone and I for one am glad for it!
With reference to the teacher/student story… there is some truth in your words I concede BUT that is not the whole story. In the days when the parents sided with the teachers and the children had no voice, how much child abuse went un-noticed or worse, not believed? Better to have safe children and more talks between all involved then ignoring your child when your meant to be their protector. If anything, single parents feel this responsibility more keenly than coupled parents who can share the heavy weight of keeping their child safe and that may be the reason we go in to do battle for our kids more quickly than coupled parents might.

Sorry – off the topic now! I could rave on for a lot longer but I’ll spare you all.

Why don’t you all discuss the FACTS? Could it be because you don’t care about facts? My mother-in-law is a teacher. When my wife and I got married four and a half years ago her mother invited many of her teacher friends. During the reception I said I felt sorry for teachers today because in my youth (the 1950’s and early 60’s) ALL parents sided with the teacher, knowing it is in the nature of a child to lie when they’ve done wrong and got caught. But today, SINGLE parents routinely side with their child and believe the teacher is wrong. Everyone of the 5 or 6 teachers there gave me an enthusiastic thank you for telling it like it is and said I should consider being a principle of their school.

Children are being robbed of a father by mothers who jump into the sack too quickly, following their emotions and ignoring the truths of by-gone days (like, “why would he want to buy the cow if he’s getting his milk for free”). And often, when single mom’s do find a man who loves hte kids, she’ll dump him because he’s not perfect, he doesn’t meet her list of expectations.

Children are being robbed of discipline by single mothers who think a good parent is first and foremost their child’s best friend. Parental discipline must be consistent or the child soon learns how to manipulate the parent and call the shots. Sadly, that’s the situation in the majority of single parent AND two-parent homes in America. Just watch any episode of Super Nanny for proof.

As a former step-parent who saw his future step-children manipulating their mom, lying, stealing and pushing all her buttons to make her feel guilty for doing the right thing, I have some personal experience to back up what I say here. She didn’t have clue that any of that was going on, because she believed, like most single moms believe, that all she had to do was love them and they’d turn out to be great children. This is precisely the attitude I’m seeing here. If you love your children more than your own self-image then read the report she sites and get the FACTS. If you can then prove her wrong, more power to you.

It’s not just about the parent anymore. They have to find someone who is not only “everything” they want, but also everything for their child(ren). I went through my share of women who weren’t right for my children, but most were childless (hense my switch to only seeking single mothers).

I don’t blame any single parent (male or female) for being cautious and fearful. It’s tough finding the right person (and hoping they really are “the right person”)

We became parents with that vision. But life didn’t work out that way.

We encourage men to visit our site — thanks!! — because we really do believe that a healthy, thriving family includes both male and female support.

I have run across the blogs you mention and they sadden me. The writers seem to feel very fearful.

I’m surely not in denial about the strong correlation between single motherhood and poverty. Teen-aged single moms with no job skills and few prospects and divorced single moms whose standard of living plummets after divorce make up a big percentage of those single moms in poverty.

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

But.

Out of all that crap, there is a point, and you’re missing it.

I read several of these single-mom blogs, and frankly, there is A LOT of sentiment AGAINST the nuclear family. It’s often spoke of in terms of “I don’t need a man, I can do this myself”.

I’m a liberal, but I believe strongly in the two-parent system.

Single women need to choose better, and not jump -quickly- in the sack “unprotected” with a guy they -think- is the love of their life. Yes, a lot of guys are jerks who don’t want to own up to the responsibility. This usually only comes out AFTER the child is born (or sooner – when the man realizes his girlfriend is pregnant!) Women need to do more “vetting” before making the child commitment.

And by the way, why is it that there is a connection between povery and single mothers? We may not like to hear it, but there is a link.