Have you met the Sanity Fairy?

Solo Mother recently posted this comment on her blog about Dr. Leah:

“Dr. Leah, can I have your job? You seem to be the Sanity Fairy of Single Parenthood, as you flutter from blog to blog scattering good thoughts wherever you go.”

Solo Mother is right.

If you haven’t yet gotten acquainted with Dr. Leah Klungness, co-founder of Singlemommyhood.com, let us introduce you:

As you might know, Dr. Leah is the co-author of #1 self help book for single parents, The Complete Single Mother. But did you know that she earned her doctoral degree and license as a psychologist — while single parenting her two very young children?

Impressive, I say! Dr. Leah has helped thousands of single parents through sticky situations and emotional drama.

Please send your questions to her!

This just in from Maggie G:

“My three year old son lies on the floor kicking and screaming when I pick him up at day care. I always get there early so we can have extra time together.

The caregiver tells me he only acts this way for me.

Obviously, he hates me . . . I am a single mom failure.”

Happily, Dr. Leah, aka “The Sanity Fairy,” puts the whole situation into perspective.

I got very emotional when I read this e-mail. I vividly remember meltdowns like this with my kids.   At the time, I thought that her behavior at day care pick-up was all about our upheaval at home and my inadequacies as a single mom.

Your kid does not hate you. In fact, quite the opposite! A failure? No way!

Toddlers feel safest with Mommy so they bottle up most of their feelings until they see her. This is why they kick and scream, refuse to put on their jackets, cry pitifully, and make us feel like they hate us.

The caregiver should have clued you in. Sometimes there is an unconscious competition between mothers and caregivers. If you picked up your son at the same time as the other parents, you would quickly see that your kid’s “reunion meltdown” is typical.

Here’s how to handle the situation:

“Reunion meltdowns” signal that your kid needs comfort, not discipline. Establish a routine for picking him up so he’ll know what to expect.

Give your little guy undivided attention when you first arrive home. Leave the dishes in the sink and the unopened mail. The phone messages can wait. Get down on your child’s level and follow his/her lead. Let your child lead play for 10 minutes. Snuggle.

Fortunately, this stage will not last forever. Before you know it, little kids morph into teenagers who  conspicuously ignore you when you pick them up from a friend’s house or after school.

Are you the single parent of a toddler? Have you experienced similar feelings during a meltdown?

~~~

If you have any questions for Dr. Leah — about parenting, romance, divorce, your ex — please do share.

You can email us, or write your question in the comments.

	Ultimate go-to guide for single mothers. The Complete Single Mother is the only comprehensive and best selling self help book ever written for single parents. It’s packed with savvy advice, sisterly comfort, as well as reassuring answers to all your single mom challenges.
	Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style.

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