But neither of us post our children.

Go over what they write in their profile, not just their picture. Is there enough there that you’re interested in. Are there any show stoppers? Does what they wrote interest you? Keep in mind that not everyone writes a true description of themselves or has picture that shows what they really look like.

So if the profile review really has you interested send an email. Find out if, after reviewing your profile, they have an interest in you. Exchange some emails to learn a little more about them and see if you are both still interested. If the interest is still there, either offer to phone them, or provide you number so they can phone you (I always give the lady the option, and only provide my cell number).

Actually speaking allows you to hear their voice. People provide insights when they talk and it can be picked up on. It’s just like body language can tell you things when you’re with someone. I use phone conversations to determine when/if I finally do want to meet this person, and if they want to meet me.

Of course I’m covering this from the position of the first contact coming from me, but the process is the same if they contact me first.

When I meet I try to keep it very casual, comfortable and friendly. Even it becomes obvious that, for whatever reason, it’s not a good match you’re in a friendly, casual situation it will feel less uncomfortable. If the chemistry isn’t there, it isn’t there, but that doesn’t mean the meeting has to be uncomfortable, unpleasant or unenjoyable.

I don’t have unrealistic expectations with regard to “online dating”. I know that it’s likely that only about 10% of the ladies I actually meet will result in a second date. Whether there turn out not to be what I want, or I’m not what they want (or both *L*), I accept that about 90% will be a first and only date. I don’t let that discourage me.

And you never know who might turn out to be a real jewel. The young lady I’m seeing I would have never thought I’d go out with, let alone end up with, but her profile made me laugh (in a very good way *S*) even with the one “show stopper” in her profile (may need to rethink my show stoppers I guess *L*) I sent her an email…., but that’s a different story.

Anyway, that’s how I screen. For me it’s worked very well. Didn’t go into my questions or show stoppers, because everyone will have there own idea of what’s important to them. Rachel has the general idea in her comment.

Meeting the families is another chapter, but I agree that relationships have to reach a certain point before that happens.

Rachel, is there a divorce other than “legally”? *S* I should have invested in one of those.

Pardon the length, and any typos.

Re: screening process, I have my “top 10″ questions which I attempt to ask casually, but they do cover my deal breakers.

For example, “Are you legally divorced, or separated?” and “What do you like to do on the weekends?” (Coach your kid’s soccer time…or get high?)

I’d love to know what “M’s screening process is, too!