His ex-wife left my now-husband for a younger man she met in a bar. It broke my husband’s heart. Even worse, his son was very bitter about being taken away from living with his dad by his mom who needed the child support to get by. He was allowed to see his dad every weekend and 1-2x a week at night.

I showed up a few years after the divorce but the son made my life a living hell from day one. I tried very very hard to get along with him and tried to cut him so much slack because he was a child. We even did couples and family counseling to try and overcome the bitterness his son had and directed towards me.

He blamed me for preventing his parents from reuniting even though his mom remarried shortly after the divorce.

Respecting his relationship with his mother I tried to treat my husband’s son as a friend and not a replacement for his mom but he (and his mother who often badmouthed me to her son) did lots of things to try and break up the budding romance.

As a result I refused to marry my husband for many years until his son was completely grown up and off at college.

We get along OK now, after many years, but are not close due to how he behaved during those early years.

After my experiences with my husband, his son and ex-wife I would never date another man with young kids, whether he had custody or not.

It was very hard and I was in love with my husband so I really hung in there for him and for us. It was very painful and I thought long and hard about leaving at times.

I don’t think its just men who don’t want to date single moms. I think women feel the same way, at least many I talked to during my struggles with my now-stepson.

With regard to Jason, if he doesn’t feel a connection with a woman, regardless if she is a single mom or not, it would be disaster for him to try and keep her just because she is a single mom and he is a single dad.

What if the kids don’t like either new partner or each other? All kinds of new drama to handle.

My heart goes out to everyone in all types of challenging love and parenting relationship.

Single moms understand all these things. For me, if the lady doesn’t have, or hasn’t had children, then I’m really not interested. The single mom I’m with has one young child, and I’m thrilled with them both.

I don’t watch the show, but if he’s keeping his children at least 1/2 the year, then he could be in for a very rude awakening (for the children’s sake I hope not).

“Do single dads deliberately avoid single moms in order to keep the focus on their own kids?”

And the answer, for me, is “No, that’s not the reason I’d avoid a single mom”. My reason to avoid a single mom is in my other response above.

Amy Sue: The “stages” question is tough. Been there and done that— Getting “very involved” with someone who was rightly concerned about worries/responsibilities I’d left behind years ago. Or, in some cases, never had.

Checking your kids’ MySpace page? Never did it because, honestly, when my “babies” were teen-agers, there was no such thing.

Not so anxious to learn that new parenting skill.

I never met him, obviously.

I dated a man for a while whose kids were much younger than mine, and we were really not at the same place in our lives. I adore kids, and the thought of having step-kids doesn’t scare me, but when I realized his daughter would start kindergarten when my son started college, it was one of the things that made me wonder if it was right. It’s not the reason we stopped dating, but I can relate to not wanting to do it all again. At this point, with two teenagers, I don’t need babysitters, nor do I need to introduce my kids to someone over ice-cream. I’m not looking for a father-figure for my children – and some men do want that.

Again, it’s all a matching game.

I think that Jason Melnick can want whatever and whomever he wants. It’s our business because it’s on tv, but if he wants someone who can focus on him and Ty and maybe making new babies? That’s his prerogative. It sucks, but it’s his choice.

In fact, single moms are one up in my book. Single moms know how to work hard, don’t shy away from challenges and usually have a low tolerance for BS and drama. They aren’t still living in the la la land of teen fantasies. They know how to give their all for the betterment of others. And at the end of the day, they are as equally tired as I am. So I don’t get grief when I collapse!

Also, most single moms have highly developed radar for people’s characters, so I feel like they are quicker to pick up on who I am sooner and this helps the relationship move along a little easier.

I never understood the “my kids-her kids” distinction either. Kids are kids, and they all basically need the same things to thrive.