Comments on: Beware of the “marriage museum” http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/02/beware-of-the-marriage-museum/ a whole new way to think about real life Tue, 16 Mar 2010 20:15:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/ hourly 1 By: bad mummy http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/02/beware-of-the-marriage-museum/comment-page-1/#comment-889 bad mummy Tue, 24 Feb 2009 16:44:58 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=2230#comment-889 When we split, I was happy to let my packrat ex take the majority of the "stuff". Even now, 18 months after moving out of the house, I still stumble across items we acquired as a couple and if I'm not using it, then it gets donated or freecycled or sold on Craigslist. There's something so very awesome about looking around my apartment and knowing that everything in it is mine. I didn't have to compromise my idea of decor (so very shabby chic) and I'm glad I'm not sleeping on the bed our daughter was conceived in. But I will confess that, in the back of my closet, is the shadow box I made with tokens from our wedding. I'm saving that for our daughter, along with my engagement ring and wedding band. Did anyone see Gary Unmarried last night? It touched on this topic...including what *not* to do with naked photos! When we split, I was happy to let my packrat ex take the majority of the “stuff”. Even now, 18 months after moving out of the house, I still stumble across items we acquired as a couple and if I’m not using it, then it gets donated or freecycled or sold on Craigslist.

There’s something so very awesome about looking around my apartment and knowing that everything in it is mine. I didn’t have to compromise my idea of decor (so very shabby chic) and I’m glad I’m not sleeping on the bed our daughter was conceived in.

But I will confess that, in the back of my closet, is the shadow box I made with tokens from our wedding. I’m saving that for our daughter, along with my engagement ring and wedding band.

Did anyone see Gary Unmarried last night? It touched on this topic…including what *not* to do with naked photos!

]]> By: Leah Klungness http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/02/beware-of-the-marriage-museum/comment-page-1/#comment-881 Leah Klungness Mon, 23 Feb 2009 22:29:57 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=2230#comment-881 Wedding albums surely get mentioned often! That's really my only marriage museum item. Could not part with those pictures of my family and all my friends. Thanks to everyone for sharing their experiences. Wedding albums surely get mentioned often! That’s really my only marriage museum item. Could not part with those pictures of my family and all my friends.

Thanks to everyone for sharing their experiences.

]]> By: dadshouse http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/02/beware-of-the-marriage-museum/comment-page-1/#comment-879 dadshouse Mon, 23 Feb 2009 16:23:58 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=2230#comment-879 My ex had all the boxes full of stuff in her garage. Every now and then she'd send one over to my house. This has been going on for nine years of divorce! Just last year, she sent a box with some of my silverware in it. WTF? :-) My ex had all the boxes full of stuff in her garage. Every now and then she’d send one over to my house. This has been going on for nine years of divorce! Just last year, she sent a box with some of my silverware in it. WTF? :-)

]]> By: Darlene Siddons http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/02/beware-of-the-marriage-museum/comment-page-1/#comment-878 Darlene Siddons Mon, 23 Feb 2009 16:22:01 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=2230#comment-878 did see someone mention a vision board...yes i did....yes i did... :)....here is another option for everyone....Vision Map Videos....check them out....enjoy!!!...single mom hood...can be the best until the next mr right comes along.... darlene http://visionmapvideo.blogspot.com/ did see someone mention a vision board…yes i did….yes i did… :) ….here is another option for everyone….Vision Map Videos….check them out….enjoy!!!…single mom hood…can be the best until the next mr right comes along….

darlene
http://visionmapvideo.blogspot.com/

]]> By: Apples http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/02/beware-of-the-marriage-museum/comment-page-1/#comment-876 Apples Mon, 23 Feb 2009 07:36:07 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=2230#comment-876 I love the tip that if something is hard to give away but you know you want to, take a few pictures of the said item. Write the story of it on the back of the picture. It takes far less space to keep a picture then it does the item. If you ever are in the situation do what I did. Take a LITTLE box and fill with the stuff you think you want to keep. Then leave the other stuff at the ex's so he has to throw it away. Its easier then doing it yourself... I kept these items for my daughter... My ex before THE ex all I have is one lonely picture not even of him but of the flowers he gave me. If I had a do over I would have taken/kept a single picture. I do have a storage room of my own crap I pay for that I need to go through... I love the tip that if something is hard to give away but you know you want to, take a few pictures of the said item. Write the story of it on the back of the picture. It takes far less space to keep a picture then it does the item.

If you ever are in the situation do what I did. Take a LITTLE box and fill with the stuff you think you want to keep. Then leave the other stuff at the ex’s so he has to throw it away. Its easier then doing it yourself… I kept these items for my daughter… My ex before THE ex all I have is one lonely picture not even of him but of the flowers he gave me. If I had a do over I would have taken/kept a single picture.

I do have a storage room of my own crap I pay for that I need to go through…

]]> By: M http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/02/beware-of-the-marriage-museum/comment-page-1/#comment-874 M Mon, 23 Feb 2009 05:42:53 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=2230#comment-874 threw in. It's late, the mind is fading fast. A group of us went camping after a friends divorce and we made a bond fire as we inventoried and burned all the reminders his ex left. It was a truck load of stuff. threw in. It’s late, the mind is fading fast.

A group of us went camping after a friends divorce and we made a bond fire as we inventoried and burned all the reminders his ex left. It was a truck load of stuff.

]]> By: M http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/02/beware-of-the-marriage-museum/comment-page-1/#comment-873 M Mon, 23 Feb 2009 05:37:58 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=2230#comment-873 I guess I should be thankful. I got the children and she took boxes of things she thought I'd be upset to lose...like our wedding photos, her wedding dress (although our daughter did actually want that), all our wedding gifts and other assorted items that I was happy to see go :). I even through in some things that were given to me by members of her family :) I've never had the heart to thank her and give it away that I was happy to be parted with the reminders. (If I ever did that she'd likely try to bring it back). I guess I should be thankful. I got the children and she took boxes of things she thought I’d be upset to lose…like our wedding photos, her wedding dress (although our daughter did actually want that), all our wedding gifts and other assorted items that I was happy to see go :) . I even through in some things that were given to me by members of her family :)
I’ve never had the heart to thank her and give it away that I was happy to be parted with the reminders. (If I ever did that she’d likely try to bring it back).

]]> By: Wondermom http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/02/beware-of-the-marriage-museum/comment-page-1/#comment-872 Wondermom Mon, 23 Feb 2009 03:02:56 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=2230#comment-872 I posted about this not too long ago. When Ex and I split, I tried to be nice and took just what the kids and I needed and left the rest until we sorted out who got what. Big mistake. Ex took pretty much everything of any monetary value and left the rest of the "junk" that accumulates in a house over the years. Nine months after we separated, the bank was finally ready to foreclose on the house and I was left to clear out everything we wanted. I tried to stay detached and not think about what I was doing...quick and painless...like ripping off a bandaid. I gave a lot of stuff to the neighbors and threw a lot of it away. What I thought was worth keeping got stuffed in boxes and bags and brought to the apartment. Now that I'm trying to sift through those boxes and bags, I find myself throwing away or giving away even more. There are some things that I still don't know what to do with...the wedding photos, my bouquet, the wine glasses from the reception, the invitations, all the cards from the shower, etc. I just can't make myself throw those things away but I don't really know what to do with them either. I'm sure that someday my boys will want the photos...or my grandchildren...or someone...I never throw away photos of anything! But the wedding memorabilia? No one is going to want that but it just seems wrong to throw it out. Right now there is one box of "us" stuff...I guess I can deal with that. I'm sure someday I'll be able to throw most of it away and then I'll laugh that I saved it at all but I'm just not there yet. I am learning to fight my packrat tendencies though. I'm planning a trip in the next couple of weeks to take all the baby stuff that is too valuable to just give to goodwill (is that wrong of me?) to a girlfriend who is expecting a baby and in a tight spot financially. All the kids' outgrown clothes have either gone to goodwill or to a neighbor that has a little boy smaller than mine. And I'm fighting the urge to save every little souvenir of childhood. I keep a few of their drawings and crafts from preschool, but not every little thing. I'm almost 33 and my mom has BOXES of every little thing I ever made or drew or wrote since I was born. She's trying to declutter now and wants me to come get those things. Honestly, I could care less about them! I'm not going to do that to my boys...I promise I'm not... I posted about this not too long ago. When Ex and I split, I tried to be nice and took just what the kids and I needed and left the rest until we sorted out who got what. Big mistake. Ex took pretty much everything of any monetary value and left the rest of the “junk” that accumulates in a house over the years. Nine months after we separated, the bank was finally ready to foreclose on the house and I was left to clear out everything we wanted. I tried to stay detached and not think about what I was doing…quick and painless…like ripping off a bandaid. I gave a lot of stuff to the neighbors and threw a lot of it away. What I thought was worth keeping got stuffed in boxes and bags and brought to the apartment. Now that I’m trying to sift through those boxes and bags, I find myself throwing away or giving away even more. There are some things that I still don’t know what to do with…the wedding photos, my bouquet, the wine glasses from the reception, the invitations, all the cards from the shower, etc. I just can’t make myself throw those things away but I don’t really know what to do with them either. I’m sure that someday my boys will want the photos…or my grandchildren…or someone…I never throw away photos of anything! But the wedding memorabilia? No one is going to want that but it just seems wrong to throw it out. Right now there is one box of “us” stuff…I guess I can deal with that. I’m sure someday I’ll be able to throw most of it away and then I’ll laugh that I saved it at all but I’m just not there yet. I am learning to fight my packrat tendencies though. I’m planning a trip in the next couple of weeks to take all the baby stuff that is too valuable to just give to goodwill (is that wrong of me?) to a girlfriend who is expecting a baby and in a tight spot financially. All the kids’ outgrown clothes have either gone to goodwill or to a neighbor that has a little boy smaller than mine. And I’m fighting the urge to save every little souvenir of childhood. I keep a few of their drawings and crafts from preschool, but not every little thing. I’m almost 33 and my mom has BOXES of every little thing I ever made or drew or wrote since I was born. She’s trying to declutter now and wants me to come get those things. Honestly, I could care less about them! I’m not going to do that to my boys…I promise I’m not…

]]> By: Lex http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/02/beware-of-the-marriage-museum/comment-page-1/#comment-871 Lex Mon, 23 Feb 2009 02:45:29 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=2230#comment-871 I. am. just. not. ready. SIGH. I. am. just. not. ready. SIGH.

]]> By: Leah Klungness http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/02/beware-of-the-marriage-museum/comment-page-1/#comment-870 Leah Klungness Mon, 23 Feb 2009 02:21:52 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=2230#comment-870 Won: My thoughts are with you. I hope you have support as you face this most difficult and anguishing task. Won: My thoughts are with you. I hope you have support as you face this most difficult and anguishing task.

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