Comments on: Does your kid sleep with you?

By: April

April — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:08:52 +0000

I can't go to sleep with the girls in my bed, so they go to sleep in their room, but inevitably either one or both of them will end up in my bed and that's fine with me. April’s last blog post..X Chronicles continued

By: Rachel Sarah

Rachel Sarah — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 03:15:47 +0000

So true Mike! Once the kid is in your bed… it’s a challenge to get him/her out. I’m speaking from personal experience here!

By: Mama Dharma

Mama Dharma — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 03:14:33 +0000

Co-sleeping was a no-brainer for me when my son was born. My first post separation relationship, though, got me thinking about the ahem, practicalities of it…plus that ex-boyfriend was really critical of co-sleeping (and my other parenting ideas) which is part of why he is an EX!

Now my son (3) goes to sleep in his own bed, and usually crawls back in my bed by 3 am. Half the time I don’t notice. And I really don’t mind.

The only time it might get awkward is if I were to be in another relationship where someone was “sleeping over” on a more regular basis. I have faith that soon he will sleep through the night in his own bed, and am not too worried about it.

Mama Dharma’s last blog post..Creative Emergence

By: M

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 22:25:04 +0000

Can’t say I was following any advice from our pediatrician. I just know that children develope habits as they grow. I wanted mine to know that they would always have access to me and I would be there for them, but my room was not their room. They could go to their room for privacy and my room was for my privacy. If they needed me I would come to them. It’s worked at extremely well for all of us.

By: Leah Klungness

Leah Klungness — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 13:44:45 +0000

Just passing this information along …For years, most pediatricians have gently (or vigorously) urged parents to let their infants sleep in a crib, a bassinet, or, indeed, almost anywhere but the parent’s bed. Parents—especially in the last few years—have pushed back against doctors, arguing that it is both natural and beneficial for babies to co-sleep with parents.

There are new research data available to support what most pediatricians and health care providers have been saying all along: There is substantial risk in infant-parent bed sharing, and parents should be aware of this risk before bringing babies to bed to sleep with them. For our pregnant readers or brand new moms(and dads) – If you are considering co-sleeping with your newborn, please discuss it first with your pediatrician or health care provider.

By: Leah Klungness

Leah Klungness — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 13:28:51 +0000

M: The kids need to be with you not in your bed …important observation. Thanks so much for adding your perspective and experience.

By: Eathan

Eathan — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 03:12:12 +0000

I'm a firm believer of sleeping in their own bed. Although Dirt Bike Boy co-sleeps with mom when he's at her house. I've always been frustrated and never agreed with her allowing this. I agree with Dadshouse.. They should sleep on their own. Eathan’s last blog post..Question From A 15yr Old Reader

By: Wondermom

Wondermom — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 00:52:11 +0000

OK, I gotta speak up for the cosleepers here. Before my children were born, I was adamantly opposed to cosleeping for many of the same reasons mentioned by other commenters. Then Squirt was born and I realized I didn’t know quite as much as I thought I did. He nursed every hour around the clock. No amount of stuffing or starving would stretch out those feedings…it was just the way he was. He was a few months old before I finally gave in and let him sleep in my bed and suddenly realized that all three of us (Squirt, Ex, and me) were happier and slept better that way. It worked for us. And it didn’t come between Ex and me…I was still nursing and cosleeping when Pork Chop was conceived on the floor in the office. If anything, it might have helped our sex lives because we had to be a little more creative. “Everyone” expected me to kick Squirt out of our bed when the baby was born but I refused. We were perfectly comfortable with the family bed concept…our experience had been so great and we had seen both sides. Well, Pork Chop was born and his personality and temperament were so different from his brother! He didn’t nurse to sleep…he ate what he wanted and then wanted to be swaddled with his paci and put in his own space. I tried and tried to get him to sleep with us but he refused. In a bassinet beside the bed he’d sleep 12 or 13 hours…in my bed, he’d fuss and fidget all night long. He loved to be held or carried in a sling all day but at bedtime he wanted his own space. So, I just rolled with it. When he was a couple of months old, I put him in a crib in his own room…his older brother still slept with us full time. It seemed a little strange but we did what worked for everyone. Honestly, I still have no problem cosleeping with Squirt and wish that I could make it work until he was ready to give it up. It is easier for me if he starts the night in his own bed but I have no problem at all with him joining me when he wakes up in the middle of the night (usually about 2 minutes after I turn everything off and go to bed myself!) He’s such a busy child during the day (and sometimes frustrating!) so I enjoy that time when he’s completely calm and so sweet and innocent. I also love waking up to a slobbery kiss good morning and a smile…it just works for us. The problem that I have now is that Pork Chop is almost 3 and wants to do everything his brother does. If he wakes up in the middle of the night and realizes that Brother is not in his bed, then Pork Chop gets jealous and wants to sleep with me too…but he still doesn’t sleep well with someone close to him. So you can imagine with the three of us in a full bed, he’s miserable and none of us sleep. If he could sleep peacefully in the same bed as someone else, I would probably invest in a king sized bed and all three of us would sleep together. If he would continue to sleep all night like he always has and not get jealous of his brother, I’d be happy to sleep with just the older one even though it seems strange. But for now, I have to find something that works for all three of us which is why I’m “encouraging” them to stay in their beds all night. I’m still not forcing the issue though…they both seem to be open to making this transition right now so I’m working with them. If I were getting any fair amount of resistance, I would look for an alternate solution…it has to work for everyone, not just for me or for one kid.

And my mother frequently tells me that I “created” sleep issues with Squirt and I learned my lesson with Pork Chop and did better with him. WRONG!! Squirt was the way he is from day 1…I didn’t create anything. I just allowed him to be himself and worked within his comfort zone. I tried hard to get Pork Chop to sleep with me but he was different from day 1 and I had to learn to work within his comfort zone too.

There’s nothing wrong with cosleeping if it works for everyone involved. There’s nothing wrong with not cosleeping if it doesn’t work for you. You have to figure out what works for EVERYONE in your family and go with that. I just hate when I hear the judgment and assumptions on both sides.

Wondermom’s last blog post..I need to hear from divorcees

By: dadshouse

dadshouse — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:57:16 +0000

No, my 16 year old daughter does not sleep with me. But thank your for asking. (smile… I know this post is meant for parents with younger kids)

I think it’s healthy for kids to sleep on their own. And there’s nothing wrong with cuddling up with dad or mom for a bit in the morning.

By: SDMktg

SDMktg — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:21:00 +0000

I think this is very different for men. My kids have crawled into my bed just a couple of times and usually when they were sick. They wanted to be closer to me in the mornings for a few months after we first had a new home but then they went back to their own beds and actually let me sleep in each day.

I dated a woman who from my perspective allowed her son to sleep in her bed most nights as much because it made her feel better as it did him. It caused a few problems.