Sexting and the art of parenting
by Rachel Sarah
Filed under Sex, Single Dads, Single Moms
In case you didn’t know, “sexting” is the clever name for the act of sending, receiving, or forwarding naked photos via your cell phone.
We understand this is a concern for many parents.
Sexting is apparently – gulp! – not uncommon among middle school kids. Apparently, because kids are sending ” child images,” they are transmitting child pornography — which is, of course, illegal.
Kids caught “sexting” by school administrators are in far more trouble than losing cell phone privileges or getting grounded. Typically, school officials alert both parents and the police. You can imagine how this kid misbehavior might become a huge legal problem and parental nightmare.
I wanted an expert opinion on this latest “parenting technology challenge” so, of course, I called Dr. Leah.
Not surprisingly, she stressed the importance of talking to our kids about this “craze” and emphasizing the “big picture” about the unintended consequences. Dr. Leah urged a matter-of-fact approach (always tough to pull off) along with reassuring your kids that you are always there to listen.
Gee…you have to wonder. Are kids imitating adult behavior when they sent naked pictures to convey their romantic interest or sexual arousal?
Do kids think that their “tween idols” are sexting? Or, do kids know that Mom (or Dad) sends sexy texts featuring their own private anatomy — and therefore conclude that sexting is an appropriate and “grown-up”?
That possibility really got me thinking.
Adults are entitled to “sext” — because anything between consenting adults is perfectly fine, right? (Hmmm…with what’s happening with Facebook, who’s sure of anything?)
But certainly, as responsible, caring parents, we need to make sure that our kids never see our “sexts,” yes?
Dr. Leah gently reminded me about my own child enthusiastically unwrapping a post office delivery. (What kid can resist opening a package?) which contained …well, something that was not meant for her.
When we posted about where to hide your sex toys, your ingenuity was incredible — but your tales of kids (or your mom) accidentally finding your stash was sobering.
Remember the mother whose stashed condoms created the greatest water balloons of all time?
We’ve also heard about another daughter who reinvented her Mom’s diaphragm as a trampoline for Barbie. And the kid who used lubricants as finger paint? You can’t make this stuff up.
We’re wondering: Is sexting part of your sexual/romantic life?
Our kids are so tech-savvy and forever curious. We wonder how you manage to keep your kids away from your private adult communications.
Please do share.
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I’m sorry if I’m offending anyone, but I’m not dumb enough to send any man pictures of me nude via “sext,” e-mail/online, in print, nada. He will see what he’s meant to see during the moment, and he’d better savor it or be privileged enough to come back for more. But I’m not willing to open myself up for humiliation or embarassment later. Even if it’s my husband, no thank you. There are other means for flirting and lighting sparks…
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommyhood.com
Ah, we adore you LEM!!
You’re not alone…. But I DO know more than one single parent who has sent some provocative photos digitally.
I love your attitude:
“He will see what he’s meant to see during the moment, and he’d better savor it…”
Now, let’s hear from the rest of you!
I have to go with LEM on this one. I’m less afraid of my kids finding something on my phone than what happens to those pictures once they leave my hands. Let’s face it, I don’t have the best track record for choosing men and well, let’s just not go there. That said, I have sent a few provocative (not nude) pictures by text. Damn it…I guess I can’t run for president now! Actually, I frequently check my memory card, pics folder on my phone, etc. because I’m terrified of forgetting where those pictures are and accidentally letting someone that shouldn’t see them. That’s all part of the fun though I guess.
Very interesting and provocative subject. Glad I won’t have to have this talk with DS for another 10 years or so, at which point they will have some kind of wildly different technology.
When I was first separated I was in a vulnerable place and got into a weird and unhealthy sexting relationship with someone who lived in another state. He kept pressuring me to send the pics and I was pretty wacked at the time so I did.
That lasted all of a month and I don’t think I would do it again. In no way could you ID me in the pics as they did not include my face…perhaps it was a little titillating at the time, but now I’m not all that into it. I don’t mean to judge people who do, but for me it was a sign of unhealthy behavior. These days I’m more into words conjuring images and of course, the real thing.
Twitter @ iswirls
I have to say there are some interesting responses. I have to same motto that my parents had when I was a kid. You dont have permission to explore anything in my room, phone, wallet/purse.. and it covers email/computer.
It’s odd because I can leave my wallet on the counter and no one will touch it. A mom will leave her purse on the counter and all the kids want to dive in. My son had the same issue on his mother’s computer.. but not on mine.
Maybe it’s the difference between mom’s and dad’s. Or just laying down the boundaries at a early age.
And for the record… sexting is regularly done.. but my phone remains on lock and is for my eyes only.
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommindy.blogspot.com
I would NEVER take pictures or video of myself naked. Way too risky that it could fall into the wrong hands at some point.
I hope my girls are never stupid enough to do such a thing and will definitley talk to them about it and the potential negative consequences.
I had no idea what sexting was until now. This is a scary thought. Way too dangerous. I would never take pictures or video of myself naked let alone send them via text message. The thought of naked me in the wrong hands gives me the chills. What’s worse, what if I send them to the wrong person! Too many what if’s…especially the obvious…what if it lands in the wrong hands…
Absolutely 100% guilty on this one. Although it’s not hiding it from small child thats the problem – it’s stopping myself sending the sextexts on to all my closest friends for a laugh once I’ve dumped the bloke in question!!!!
But I NEVER send any myself but have had a strange number of boyfriends that have sent them to me.
Fools don’t they realise I do pass them on, hence why they now get funny looks in the street.
i think *some* kids don’t realize what they are doing. “Everyone else is doing it.” “It’s not like I am having sex.” Are things I could hear a tween say. I think parents need to sit down with their kids and really talk to them about everything.
There is always something though. A while back it was the colored rubber bracelets that supposedly each color meant how far they would go. Heck I remember being even as young as elementary school and people playing spin the bottle and what was it called? 7 min in heaven? I personally was weird and somehow avoided even kissing till after high school…
I am not sure how I am going to deal with having a daughter grow up in todays society. SCARY!
Vanessa Hudgens from High School Musical sent a nude pic of herself to her then boyfriend, and her pic got posted all over the internet…
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As usual, we need to talk to our kids. I think once they understand the implications of what they’re doing, most often, they will make the right choices.
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