Comments on: Is your ex a playmate or a parent?

By: Leah Klungness

Leah Klungness — Sun, 17 May 2009 13:33:00 +0000

Kari: We’re always here to listen.

By: Kari

Kari — Sat, 16 May 2009 22:44:36 +0000

Well we talked but he said nothing at all. He just said it was fine if she stayed here until Sunday if she wanted. Then he'll have her Sunday night and I get her back Monday night. He gets Tuesday night and Wed night then she is with me again until Sunday night. Our schedule is a little funny but it works out for everyone and dd is happier seeing everyone throughout the week. SM will tell me if dd shouldn't be there if things are too rough and I will approach ex about the troubles then if need be. Right now she shouldn't be there she didn't think it was wise and I didn't either. I did tell him I just spent $80 on softball and equipment that she needed 2 pairs of softball pants. He hymed and hawed but I gave him crap and said she needs two pairs go and get em. Oh and btw you still owe $300 on her braces they are stopping treatment if you don't pay so please call them and pay your share of what has been billed so far. I'm sure that made him really happy but you know what? I don't care today, I just don't. Kari’s last blog post..Let the talking begin.... Tweens/Teens and cell phones.

By: Rachel Sarah

Rachel Sarah — Sat, 16 May 2009 03:31:57 +0000

Kari: We really do understand. And you have a space here to vent. Please let us know how this unfolds.

By: Kari

Kari — Fri, 15 May 2009 22:56:46 +0000

After I posted my drawn out response about the original question I got a phone call and it is very clear what kind of parent my ex is.

He is married now, they have a child. There have been some arguements I guess and he threatened divorce. He has left, our child is with me, their child is with her and ex is no where to be found… however his time began today and he has not contacted me nor has he returned my calls.

That is the kind of parent he is. Lets be fair here though he likely forgot it was even his weekend with no one to remind him. (you can’t hear it but that is my sarcasm there).

So yes, most times we get along quite well now. I want to tell him off so badly right now. I won’t as it stands kiddo wanted to stay here this weekend anyway so I was just calling him to find that out. As far as he knows I know nothing at all and he thinks it is my weekend and hasn’t even heard my voice mail asking for his weekend. He doesn’t listen to voice mails.

So I have no idea when her dad will re-enter the world but we share custody so it will probably be soon. He wouldn’t want me to know he is having troubles.

I waited 24 hours to post this and I probably shouldn’t have at all but darn it, I needed to get it out.

Kari’s last blog post..Let the talking begin…. Tweens/Teens and cell phones.

By: Rachel Sarah

Rachel Sarah — Fri, 15 May 2009 16:58:13 +0000

Chai_Girl: Wow, that story really sums it all up, re: who carries the responsibility. Thanks for sharing that one.

By: Kari

Kari — Fri, 15 May 2009 16:05:51 +0000

M, I think the downside is that your children suffered and they still suffer. Even though it may or may not be that they are better off without their mom in the picture that has to be tough on them. Just as it is children without their dads in the picture. Kari’s last blog post..Let the talking begin.... Tweens/Teens and cell phones.

By: M

Fri, 15 May 2009 04:11:44 +0000

I guess there’s not a down side now.

By: M

Fri, 15 May 2009 04:10:09 +0000

I have to thank a good family court judge. My youngest had a weight problem because his mother let them eat junk food. Daughters hair would take a good hour to unmat and get the knots out. My oldest two saw their Mother as their buddy until they came to think a 40 year old buddy was just too old. All three would smell whenever I picked them up. They could watch anything they wanted. She has even given them movies on DVD that were not appropriate for them. Of course the problem really starts when I took them away.

Thankfully situations can be changed. In less then two years she no longer got them twice a month and just gets to see them for about an hour at special times (birthdays, Christmas break, Mother’s Day…although she didn’t make it this Mother’s Day).

The down side is

By: Ms. V

Ms. V — Thu, 14 May 2009 23:58:01 +0000

I think we went through this in the beginning. He moved out, and it seems natural at first that you would *entertain* your child...especially if you're hurting. You miss your kids, and you just want to have fun. I'm sure I accused him of being the *Disneyland Dad* at times. Now, it's much more structured at both of our homes. I've bent on some of the rules I had, and we have met in the middle. Don't get me wrong: It was ugly for a long time...but there is a way. We took the boys to counseling after the breakup, and she worked with us. It seems to be working now, and I know they love and need their Dad. Ms. V’s last blog post..Trudging.

By: Kari

Kari — Thu, 14 May 2009 22:41:00 +0000

I can answer that my daughter is 'parented' well over at her other home. However, those things didn't happen on a regular basis until his wife moved in with him before they got married. He is not a playmate for her either. My child is parented because he is married, she gets attention because he is married. Her basic needs are met by him when he has to parent alone (pre-marriage) but that is it. We get along now, that was never something that we could do before his wife entered either. I'm not quite sure how to answer this question he is neither a playmate nor does he see to it that she does the needed things like eating healthy, personal grooming, or not watching R rated movies. That being said she loves her father, he is part of her afterall. She is not in danger when with him alone and she wants him in her life in whatever way he is able to give her. Right now that is acceptable to our daughter so it is acceptable to me (as long as she is safe of course). Kari’s last blog post..Let the talking begin.... Tweens/Teens and cell phones.