Comments on: Another absent parent dilemma http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/06/prisoners-wife/ a whole new way to think about real life Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:17:47 +0000 http://wordpress.org/ hourly 1 By: Dr. Leah http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/06/prisoners-wife/comment-page-1/#comment-4310 Dr. Leah Wed, 13 Jan 2010 11:06:11 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=4533#comment-4310 Wren: We're glad you found us, too. Please visit us often. Wren: We’re glad you found us, too. Please visit us often.

]]> By: Wren http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/06/prisoners-wife/comment-page-1/#comment-4308 Wren Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:47:56 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=4533#comment-4308 My son's father, who loves him but has been mostly absentee for our son's almost-four years of life, is most likely about to go to prison because of his alcoholism. Because his father has hardly been around, my son probably won't even notice most of the time. However, as he gets older, he'll probably ask questions, in addition to the fact that I want to be truthful with him. I'm wondering what I'm going to do/say. I don't even believe in our corrupt justice/prison system, so it's hard to approach this the way that people with mainstream ideas tend to. It's good to have this site here. I didn't realize it existed until just now. It's a great service for us single moms. Thank you! My son’s father, who loves him but has been mostly absentee for our son’s almost-four years of life, is most likely about to go to prison because of his alcoholism. Because his father has hardly been around, my son probably won’t even notice most of the time. However, as he gets older, he’ll probably ask questions, in addition to the fact that I want to be truthful with him. I’m wondering what I’m going to do/say. I don’t even believe in our corrupt justice/prison system, so it’s hard to approach this the way that people with mainstream ideas tend to. It’s good to have this site here. I didn’t realize it existed until just now. It’s a great service for us single moms. Thank you!

]]> By: tammy http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/06/prisoners-wife/comment-page-1/#comment-2588 tammy Mon, 24 Aug 2009 02:25:48 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=4533#comment-2588 my sonsfather in prison since he was 5 he is now 10 and asking alot of questions i agreed to recieve lettes but i take them out of the envelope i never told him the truth he will e devastated and not only thta but my son has a passion for fire fighters police and all other heros and i feel he lose that i am soo proud of him and i donnot know what to do any advice would be greatly appreciated he is gettign olut very soon thanks my sonsfather in prison since he was 5 he is now 10 and asking alot of questions i agreed to recieve lettes but i take them out of the envelope i never told him the truth he will e devastated and not only thta but my son has a passion for fire fighters police and all other heros and i feel he lose that i am soo proud of him and i donnot know what to do any advice would be greatly appreciated he is gettign olut very soon thanks

]]> By: Wondermom http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/06/prisoners-wife/comment-page-1/#comment-2127 Wondermom Fri, 10 Jul 2009 06:58:08 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=4533#comment-2127 I'm not an expert on this by any means but I definitely think honesty is the best policy (in age appropriate terms of course). Many years ago, before I was married or had kids of my own, I dated a guy that had a 2 year old daughter. When he was locked up for possession, his mother and grandparents told the little girl that "Daddy is at work." He was only in jail for a couple of weeks, but I ran into them one day and the great grandma mentioned to me that he was still "at work"...wink wink. The 2-year old put her hands on her hips and exclaimed "He is not at work...he's in jail!" After a minute of stunned silence, her grandma asked her "Honey, do you know what jail is?" She thought for a minute and answered "I think it's where Daddy works." Little ones hear way more than we give them credit for so I always try to be honest with them even while keeping the explanations simple. <abbr><em>Wondermom’s last blog post..<a href="http://wondermom-pickingupthepieces.blogspot.com/2009/07/post-that-shall-remain-nameless.html" rel="nofollow">The post that shall remain nameless</a></abbr></em> I’m not an expert on this by any means but I definitely think honesty is the best policy (in age appropriate terms of course). Many years ago, before I was married or had kids of my own, I dated a guy that had a 2 year old daughter. When he was locked up for possession, his mother and grandparents told the little girl that “Daddy is at work.” He was only in jail for a couple of weeks, but I ran into them one day and the great grandma mentioned to me that he was still “at work”…wink wink. The 2-year old put her hands on her hips and exclaimed “He is not at work…he’s in jail!” After a minute of stunned silence, her grandma asked her “Honey, do you know what jail is?” She thought for a minute and answered “I think it’s where Daddy works.” Little ones hear way more than we give them credit for so I always try to be honest with them even while keeping the explanations simple.

Wondermom’s last blog post..The post that shall remain nameless

]]> By: theprisonersiwfe http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/06/prisoners-wife/comment-page-1/#comment-2054 theprisonersiwfe Thu, 02 Jul 2009 03:38:03 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=4533#comment-2054 Babz: you know i love you too! i think everybody is different. do you think you'll share your experience w/ your kids as they get older? April: thanks for sharing! that's so brave of you to share the truth with your kids. i'm sure, in the long run, it was for the best. you're right, they would have found out anyway. <abbr><em>theprisonersiwfe’s last blog post..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/ThePrisonersWife/~3/bQ9xMRNwwcE/you-are-not-alone.html" rel="nofollow">You Are Not Alone</a></abbr></em> Babz: you know i love you too! i think everybody is different. do you think you’ll share your experience w/ your kids as they get older?

April: thanks for sharing! that’s so brave of you to share the truth with your kids. i’m sure, in the long run, it was for the best. you’re right, they would have found out anyway.

theprisonersiwfe’s last blog post..You Are Not Alone

]]> By: April http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/06/prisoners-wife/comment-page-1/#comment-2022 April Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:43:20 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=4533#comment-2022 My X has been in jail a few times in the past 6 years. Two of the times were on my youngest daughter's birthday - AFTER he'd already told them he would be there for their bday party. I struggled with that decision, but in the end, I told them the truth and told them why (in age appropriate words), and I'm glad I did. When the caller ID showed up as "LA Prison," they would've found out anyway. And that's basically how I've handled all of it with them: doling out more and more truths the older they get. <abbr><em>April’s last blog post..<a href="http://formerlyaprildawn.blogspot.com/2009/06/my-x-is-prick.html" rel="nofollow">My X is a prick</a></abbr></em> My X has been in jail a few times in the past 6 years. Two of the times were on my youngest daughter’s birthday – AFTER he’d already told them he would be there for their bday party. I struggled with that decision, but in the end, I told them the truth and told them why (in age appropriate words), and I’m glad I did. When the caller ID showed up as “LA Prison,” they would’ve found out anyway.
And that’s basically how I’ve handled all of it with them: doling out more and more truths the older they get.

April’s last blog post..My X is a prick

]]> By: Lovebabz http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/06/prisoners-wife/comment-page-1/#comment-1994 Lovebabz Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:18:16 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=4533#comment-1994 First off I LOVE LOVE LOVE The Priosner's Wife! We've been blog Sisters for a good long while now...happy to see her with this tribe over here! As mommy who served time in a federal prison camp. This is tough. We made the decision not to tell our 4 children. My time away was short. So that was very doable. I would err on the side of caution with a 3 year old. The truth is big and he can't process that or have a framework to draw from. I defer to the trained professionals around psychological issues. As a mom I am not sure I would tell the whole truth... I would say Dad has to be (insert) and He will be a way for a long time. I would focus on the ways in which he can communicate with his Dad...visiting...letters...calls. photos etc. I heart you and I hold you and the Beloved(s) in my prayers :) <abbr><em>Lovebabz’s last blog post..<a href="http://lovebabz.blogspot.com/2009/06/faith-forward-regret.html" rel="nofollow">FAITH FORWARD: LOSS & REGRET</a></abbr></em> First off I LOVE LOVE LOVE The Priosner’s Wife! We’ve been blog Sisters for a good long while now…happy to see her with this tribe over here!

As mommy who served time in a federal prison camp. This is tough. We made the decision not to tell our 4 children. My time away was short. So that was very doable. I would err on the side of caution with a 3 year old. The truth is big and he can’t process that or have a framework to draw from. I defer to the trained professionals around psychological issues. As a mom I am not sure I would tell the whole truth… I would say Dad has to be (insert) and He will be a way for a long time. I would focus on the ways in which he can communicate with his Dad…visiting…letters…calls. photos etc.

I heart you and I hold you and the Beloved(s) in my prayers :)

Lovebabz’s last blog post..FAITH FORWARD: LOSS & REGRET

]]>