Comments on: What happens to the souvenirs after your break up? http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/09/what-happens-to-the-souvenirs-after-your-break-up/ a whole new way to think about real life Tue, 16 Mar 2010 20:15:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/ hourly 1 By: CJ http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/09/what-happens-to-the-souvenirs-after-your-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-2724 CJ Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:58:59 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=5534#comment-2724 In some cases I believe complete destruction of these personal items is acceptable, but in most cases my past has been quite different. I feel that it is acceptable to hold on to some keepsakes from your past relationships. One has to remember that every relationship that ends once had a beginning, and most likely that beginning was something special. Each and every relationship shapes who you are today, and your path might be quite different had you not spent months dating a particular person or years married to them. My history involves those people, and destroying property or shredding photos doesn't change that. Lastly, when it comes to a new love in your life... well, if they are so jealous that they cannot deal with a small photo album, located somewhere in the dark recesses of your closet or attic, then they are most likely not right for you. In some cases I believe complete destruction of these personal items is acceptable, but in most cases my past has been quite different.

I feel that it is acceptable to hold on to some keepsakes from your past relationships. One has to remember that every relationship that ends once had a beginning, and most likely that beginning was something special. Each and every relationship shapes who you are today, and your path might be quite different had you not spent months dating a particular person or years married to them. My history involves those people, and destroying property or shredding photos doesn’t change that.

Lastly, when it comes to a new love in your life… well, if they are so jealous that they cannot deal with a small photo album, located somewhere in the dark recesses of your closet or attic, then they are most likely not right for you.

]]> By: Dr. Leah http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/09/what-happens-to-the-souvenirs-after-your-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-2723 Dr. Leah Sun, 06 Sep 2009 20:48:34 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=5534#comment-2723 Mike: Welcome to Singlemommyhood. You offer a perspective we had not considered. *Ouch* Putting your profile on a site without your permission. Thanks for adding to our conversation. Mike: Welcome to Singlemommyhood. You offer a perspective we had not considered. *Ouch* Putting your profile on a site without your permission. Thanks for adding to our conversation.

]]> By: Dr. Leah http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/09/what-happens-to-the-souvenirs-after-your-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-2722 Dr. Leah Sun, 06 Sep 2009 18:26:37 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=5534#comment-2722 Marilyn: Fingers crossed that you have that necklace for Graduation Day . . .but, so comforting, to know you've got something in reserve. Thanks for telling your story. Marilyn: Fingers crossed that you have that necklace for Graduation Day . . .but, so comforting, to know you’ve got something in reserve. Thanks for telling your story.

]]> By: Marilyn http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/09/what-happens-to-the-souvenirs-after-your-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-2721 Marilyn Sun, 06 Sep 2009 18:10:10 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=5534#comment-2721 I tend to hold on to the stuff - even a tatty book-mark.... then when i manage to throw it into the trash can - that's when i know that I'm standing totally on my own feet again. But I can not force myself to do it. The only thing I've kept from my daughter's father is a pearl necklace - not for sentimental reasons, but for financial reasons. If I'm ever really financially up the creek I can sell it and use the money; otherwise it would make a brilliant present on my daughter's graduation. (The bookmark is a reminder of someone else). I tend to hold on to the stuff – even a tatty book-mark…. then when i manage to throw it into the trash can – that’s when i know that I’m standing totally on my own feet again. But I can not force myself to do it.

The only thing I’ve kept from my daughter’s father is a pearl necklace – not for sentimental reasons, but for financial reasons. If I’m ever really financially up the creek I can sell it and use the money; otherwise it would make a brilliant present on my daughter’s graduation. (The bookmark is a reminder of someone else).

]]> By: Dr. Leah http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/09/what-happens-to-the-souvenirs-after-your-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-2720 Dr. Leah Sun, 06 Sep 2009 16:59:09 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=5534#comment-2720 Avigail74: Your comment about your mother's wedding album made me weepy. I gave my wedding album to my "grown-up" daughter. She loves it, too. When you sit in her living room, you can't help spotting it on the book shelf. Or may-be it jumps out at me. I think it does remind her that her father and I once loved each other very much. Avigail74: Your comment about your mother’s wedding album made me weepy. I gave my wedding album to my “grown-up” daughter. She loves it, too. When you sit in her living room, you can’t help spotting it on the book shelf. Or may-be it jumps out at me. I think it does remind her that her father and I once loved each other very much.

]]> By: Mike http://www.erollover.com http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/09/what-happens-to-the-souvenirs-after-your-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-2719 Mike http://www.erollover.com Sun, 06 Sep 2009 15:40:50 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=5534#comment-2719 It is really a shame that ex's tend to have such a degree with spite. The "social" aspect of the web gives many outlets for them to "get back at you" if they so choose. I have had many girlfriends that had ex's who put profiles on adult swinger sites and similar actions. It was embarrassing for them when they had to explain that someone else put the profile up......anyhow, you just have to be careful with a breakup more now than ever.... .-= Mike http://www.erollover.com´s last blog ..<a href="http://erollover.com/blog/stock-market-crashes-dot-com-bubble/" rel="nofollow">Great Stock Market Crashes | The Dot-Com Bubble</a> =-. It is really a shame that ex’s tend to have such a degree with spite. The “social” aspect of the web gives many outlets for them to “get back at you” if they so choose. I have had many girlfriends that had ex’s who put profiles on adult swinger sites and similar actions. It was embarrassing for them when they had to explain that someone else put the profile up……anyhow, you just have to be careful with a breakup more now than ever….
Mike http://www.erollover.com´s last blog ..Great Stock Market Crashes | The Dot-Com Bubble My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Avigail74 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/09/what-happens-to-the-souvenirs-after-your-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-2718 Avigail74 Sun, 06 Sep 2009 15:33:09 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=5534#comment-2718 I have never had such an easy time tossing things into the garbage! And, cannot think of a time where I felt a huge weight lift off of me! I walked away from the huge dumpster with a grand ole smile on my face. I have only kept photo albums and cd's for my child. She seems to find solace in looking at pictures of us as a family. I loved that my mother kept her wedding album for me---I love looking at how happy they once were, how young and beautiful they were...after all, they're my parents. That's it! .-= Avigail74´s last blog ..<a href="http://avigail74.blogspot.com/2009/07/gypsy-family.html" rel="nofollow">Gypsy Family</a> =-. I have never had such an easy time tossing things into the garbage! And, cannot think of a time where I felt a huge weight lift off of me! I walked away from the huge dumpster with a grand ole smile on my face. I have only kept photo albums and cd’s for my child. She seems to find solace in looking at pictures of us as a family. I loved that my mother kept her wedding album for me—I love looking at how happy they once were, how young and beautiful they were…after all, they’re my parents. That’s it!
Avigail74´s last blog ..Gypsy Family My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: BigLittleWolf http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/09/what-happens-to-the-souvenirs-after-your-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-2717 BigLittleWolf Sun, 06 Sep 2009 15:26:22 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=5534#comment-2717 While marital breakups (with kids) are probably the worst, and the most complex, not every breakup means a shredded self or shredding the remembrances of your time together. I've had the experience of mutually agreeable breaks, where we both realized that whatever we had it cannot go further. In some instances, friendships have remained. I treasure the pictures and small mementos from those times. They hold a special place in my heart, like the times that we shared and cared for each other. .-= BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..<a href="http://dailyplateofcrazy.wordpress.com/2009/09/06/driving-lessons-teaching-your-teen-to-drive/" rel="nofollow">Damn, damn, damn. Driving lessons.</a> =-. While marital breakups (with kids) are probably the worst, and the most complex, not every breakup means a shredded self or shredding the remembrances of your time together.

I’ve had the experience of mutually agreeable breaks, where we both realized that whatever we had it cannot go further. In some instances, friendships have remained. I treasure the pictures and small mementos from those times. They hold a special place in my heart, like the times that we shared and cared for each other.
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Damn, damn, damn. Driving lessons. My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Dr. Leah http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/09/what-happens-to-the-souvenirs-after-your-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-2716 Dr. Leah Sun, 06 Sep 2009 13:17:44 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=5534#comment-2716 Hi Mydria: Welcome to Singlemommyhood! Of course, keep practical things like pots and pans. (The alternative is not too appealing). And, we'd keep the things - like the basketball jersey and art - we loved, too. These things will remind you of the "good days" that you two did share. Hi Mydria: Welcome to Singlemommyhood! Of course, keep practical things like pots and pans. (The alternative is not too appealing). And, we’d keep the things – like the basketball jersey and art – we loved, too. These things will remind you of the “good days” that you two did share.

]]> By: Mydria http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/09/what-happens-to-the-souvenirs-after-your-break-up/comment-page-1/#comment-2714 Mydria Sun, 06 Sep 2009 10:07:22 +0000 http://www.singlemommyhood.com/?p=5534#comment-2714 I trashed all of our "special" photos, and almost everything that we either bought together or he gave to me. I kept a few practical things, like pots and pans and small furniture, because I need them. I also have a few gifts he gave me - a basketball jersey and some artwork - that I love and don't want to get rid of just because he gave them to me. Should I still keep these things or not??? I trashed all of our “special” photos, and almost everything that we either bought together or he gave to me. I kept a few practical things, like pots and pans and small furniture, because I need them.

I also have a few gifts he gave me – a basketball jersey and some artwork – that I love and don’t want to get rid of just because he gave them to me. Should I still keep these things or not???

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