Rachel at Single Mom Seeking recently called me for some advice about sending off her daughter at the airport for her first mother-free trip — and I gladly gave her some suggestions here

Saying goodbye is something that parents need to learn how to do — over and over. Whether it’s the first day of school, camp, college… or their own grown up adventures. Kids DO leave us.

Coincidentally, as Rachel is saying good bye at the airport, Solo Dad is sending off his 25-year-old daughter and her husband to Alaska.

These are different goodbyes for sure, and we wonder how you’ve handled saying goodbye to your children.

Solo Dad is very close to his daughter and his son-in-law. And get this: his daughter is six months pregnant with a little girl — his first grandchild!

“I’m just as happy for her as I could possibly be for them — and for me!” he says. ” I can’t wait to hold my granddaughter for the first time.”

A deployment change, however, is taking his daughter to Alaska: “They’re leaving next Tuesday, and we’re attending a farewell BBQ at her mother’s home on Sunday. It’s no big deal because we get together as often as family events dictate. My older sons and my parents and my former in-laws will be there, too.  So, there will be lots of family around.”

But here’s what Solo Dad is worried about: “I really don’t know how to say goodbye.”

“I know it’s not a final goodbye, but I’ve become very emotional lately,” he adds. “I’ve been thinking about when she was my little girl and I was the center of her world, and about the sweet times as I’ve watched her grow into a vibrant, confident young woman whom I walked down the aisle at her wedding.”

“I want to be strong, but I know won’t be as I say goodbye to her.

• Am I normal?
• Is it male menopause?
• Am I just being a hopelessly emotional dad?”

~~~

Here’s what Dr. Leah, aka The Sanity Fairy, suggests:

Show your feelings at the BBQ. Your tears will not diminish your daughter’s confidence, confuse her, or worry her.

As much as this “good-bye” will be emotionally wrenching, these genuine feelings tell your daughter how much you love her. Your daughter already knows that she can manage things. You’ve given her all the right tools.

Of course, you’ve told her how thrilled you are that her life is unfolding in such a joyous way. When someone lights your heart, it’s rather disingenuous if “good-bye” is a few jaunty words and a quick hug.

Here’s something I hope you do: give your daughter a letter in which you say the things that won’t come out at the BBQ exactly as you wanted to say them. No one has ever cherished an e-mail. Give her something to read (and re-read) and to share with her own daughter in the years to come.

Are any of you getting ready to say good-bye? Maybe it’s your child’s first day of kindergarten? Or maybe your teen is going off to college?

While writing this post, we read about another single mom who’s getting ready to do just that — send her oldest son off to college. If you’re in that place, you’ve got to read this beautiful post by Daily Plate of Crazy.

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