I searched bookstores,libraries,
and online outlets to find a book to help me HELP my child.
Ms Shillings writes from the child’s position.
She helped me to understand that it
is fear, frustration, anger and a
sense of unfounded guilt that hurts
a child during thier parents’ split.

Love, the best safety net, is what they need, and what Ms. Shillings conveyed so well in this little gem! I recommend it for ANYONE going thru disruption in the family
unit. Great Job, Thank you

I think that the one thing that I really want to point out about this book is that it first allowed a child to express feelings that he did not understand. He was frustrated because he could not put into words how he felt about going from one house to the other. It not only validated his feelings, but gave him away of expressing them so that he was not so, “pent up” inside.

Second, it opened up a communication line between my son and I. At the time that I wrote this book, he was three. Once we actually talked – and he told me why he was so mad – we have had an open line of communication about how he feels about visitations. He is 7 now, and he still has problems when he leaves to go to his dads – and the first day he is back after a weekend – he is a BEAR!! He is actually still mad that he has to do this. But atleast he knows it is okay to feel this way and talk to me about it.

My son’s father is a very consistent visitation guy – so it does not have to be just a bad “parenting relationship” that can cause these visitation issues. In my case, it was that he did not know the words to tell me how he felt, that it was okay to feel that way, and that it was simply that it was tough on him and he needed to tell me.

The message that I am trying to send with this book is that these kids have a voice that is not always heard and feelings that are not always seen – so maybe knowing that it is okay to feel this way and talk about it can alteast help them through it. It is not a “fix all book.” We still struggle, but it is a book to make this situation aware from the kids point of view.

I have even overheard my son talk to other kids of divorce/seperation about visitation. The actually have little conversations about how the feel about certain situations with each other. I think my son can do this because he knows it is okay and that there are other kids out there that feel the same way.

I really hope that those of you who get the book helps you and your child open a line of communication in which helps them articulate their feelings, have them validated, and then you and your kids can move on day by day through this tough situation.

Thank you all for support.

Michelle Shillings

T and Catty Granny Teri: Always encouraging to hear when things work out.

Corey: In my enthusiasm it appears I did leave out some basic information. This is a picture book geared to kids between ages 3 to about 10. It’s a dialog between mother and son during which the son is able to express how he feels when he leaves Mom to visit with Dad. It is based on the author’s own experiences with her son.

There’s additional information on her web site, but that’s the gist.

Thanks for raising such an obvious question.

MindyMom: Interesting perspective and so true! Thanks.

However I do always emphasize the positives… something to think about. Thank you Dr. Leah!