Where do you hide the sex toys?
by Rachel Sarah
Filed under Sex, Tips & Advice
Wait until you hear this one:
Recently, a mom contacted us for some advice. She owns a few “toys” used for mild bondage sex play. But there had been, uh, an incident: her kid had found one the toys under her bed and asked, “Mommy, What’s this for?”
Yikes.
The thought of your child showing off your “fun hand cuffs” to his friends at school is a humiliating one. The gossip and snickering — and what your ex might say — is enough to kill that fantasy.
We encourage you to keep toys and games around for your own pleasure. Just make sure you have a foolproof hiding place.
This question might help you come up with some ideas: Where would you hide a pile of cash?
A simple lock box from the hardware store might do. (We know that some of you might have so many toys that one little lock box wouldn’t do!)
If you can splurge, sex stores such as Babeland sell “toy boxes” for this purpose. They come in a variety of pretty styles, with a lock and key.
Obviously, it’s your choice, but the most important consideration is keeping your “toys” out of your kids’ sight.
If your kids ask,” What’s in the box, Mommy?” and hear a mumbled explanation, their curiosity might peak. Explanations like “private things just for grown-ups” will signal all-out efforts to discover what is contained in this super secret box. It is just so much easier (and respectful to your kids) to keep your adult toys totally out of their awareness.
Some mothers, however, are more worried about other family members snooping:
“I’m not as worried about my kids finding my toys as I am about my mom,” single mom Elissa, who blogs at MommaLiss, told Rachel during an interview about this topic.
Elissa, who describes her mom as “so helpful but disturbingly old fashioned,” is also anxious that her mom might find her birth control because “in her world not being married means I most certainly wouldn’t need such a thing!”
Another single mom told us about an emergency evacuation of her building. Her mother, who was visiting, grabbed the kids, of course — but she also took the locked steel box, thinking that it contained important documents and, perhaps, cash and jewelry.
What this grandmother had taken was this SM’s “personal items.”
Luckily, the evacuation was brief and uneventful and no one unlocked the box. Enough said.
Now tell us: Where do you hide your toys?
Dads, we know that you’re hiding some, too!
Photo of “Devine Toy Box” from Babeland
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Mine are locked in a box that is not exactly LOCKED as much as it just has a tricky mechanism to open it up. (A box custom made by my man.) This isn’t really a problem, because my children (all grown) certainly know better than to snoop around my room and find things they don’t wanna know about! But recently, I had to have some of my household goods shipped to me by a coworker in California. My “toy box” was in this shipment. I told my coworker that it would be best if she didn’t let anyone open that box. Hee hee. And if they did, I really don’t care. It is for the peace of mind of others that the things are protected from public view.
Twitter @ http://tsquest.blogspot.com
I have a large zippered bag in the top of my closet. Though I LOVE the toy box idea. I need one of those!!
I do have a vibrator in the drawer next to my bed and nearly lost it when I misplaced it once. Its mermaid shaped so I thought for certain one of my daughters found it…. yikes!
Nope, I had put it back in the bag in the closet accidentally. Whew!
Twitter @ singlemommyhood
Teri: That’s hilarious about your co-workers opening the “special” box!!
When a reader won a bunch of condoms on my SMS blog, he gave me his work address to mail them. His boss opened them…
T: I hear you… unlocking a padlocked box in the moment might be tricky. Next to your bed is oh-so-convenient.
Honestly my romantic goodies are not hidden at all ♥ the friskier items are in my undie drawer though. The boys would never go in there … trust me! They know I rep for a romance company & have grown-up products but don’t really care. My business products are under my bed in a pretty pink box ♥
Twitter @ http://www.ptlawmom.com
Hide? Nope, I don’t hide mine. But I also don’t tend to go for the phaliic-looking ones. I like the Lelo line and have a few of those as well as some Ben Wa balls and a whole lotta lube. All of that is in my bedside drawer. Each of them have their own container or satin pouch that I put them in after I clean them so unless my son opened the pouches, he wouldn’t know what they were and even if he did, I could most likely pass them off as a “massager” but I would probably be straight up and just say that it’s a special toy for Mommy and that if he wants something from Mommy’s drawer he needs to ask before he goes in there (I don’t keep anything else he would be looking for in there). That said, I should probably get something to put them in. Just hadn’t occurred to me.
I have an antique oak milk box (when the milk was delivered to the homes) by my bedside where I hide my stash. It has a latch but no lock. I keep one or two varies little items on top of it.
For may years it stored the legos.
Before that the cat food and before that……
aren’t we all glad that many of our inanimate objects cannot talk
This is a very timely discussion. I just returned from a session with my son’s psychologist, attended by his father and I to discuss some rules for both homes. The doc got around to discussing son maturing,and wanted to know if he had “discovered himself” yet. The doctor seemed very at ease discussing my son’s maturation in this area. He didn’t seem as comfortable with what I shared. I told him my son had busted me and commented on that.
He hadn’t seen me doing it. He must have been outside the bedroom door when he heard the noise of my toy in my bed. Later, when I was discussing the merits of not having sex outside of a committed relationship, my son replied “But I have caught you with your vibrator!”
Then of course we had to discuss it being appropriate to take notice of your own body, privately…behind a closed door.
I felt a bit uncomfortable today as I watched the good doctor (a male) trying his ever lovin’ best to not smile or react as I told him the story.
As for the toys, those are up in a closet in a nondescript box. Now though, it is the noise the toys make or I make that concerns me!
Twitter @ Singlemommyhood
PT – LawMom: Your drawer with all the satin pouches sounds very “inspiring”.
Here’s my thought: the older kids get the more difficult their unexpected questions become to answer. Little kids accept simple answers, but bigger kids have follow up questions.
Might be a good thought to find something to put them in.
Twitter @ singlemommyhood
Won: I blushed as I read this… because this is EXACTLY what makes me anxious.
I’m not really worried about my kid finding the toys (they’re up high, hidden)…but that she’ll ask me about “that loud buzzing noise.”
I really appreciate your honesty!
Twitter @ http://runningleap.wordpress.com
My 3 y.o. found my Lelo vibe one day. It’s not phallic, and she had no idea what it was, but she pressed a button and it turned on. She walked out of the room, but I heard a strange sound and found it going full-blast on my dresser. *BUZZZZZZZZZZZ*
I just turned it off. If she asked what it was, I guess I would have said it was a grown up toy…?
I try to keep them in my underwear drawer or under my nightstand where I can easily find it in the dark.
Funny story: When I was 21 (and living back at home for a while), I had my first vibe. I tucked it under my mattress edge to hide it, but the house cleaner came into my room to clean and she changed my bedclothes. I came home to find my vibrator (which was phallic) standing upright on my dresser! She must’ve known what it was, and I still don’t know if she told my mother, but oh God why didn’t she put it back?! I was mortified!
Hmmm. . .the noise. This is why lots of us refer to our vibes as “Buzzy Friends”.
If noise is an issue (*pause* thinking about subsequent predictable sounds, which kids would immediately seek to investigate) may-be adding some background music to our private moments is a solution.
Won: Yes, thanks for sharing this so honestly.
I’ll be repeating this bit of advice, no doubt, but psychologists are the best equipped to handle the complex issues single parents face. Of course, he wanted to smile – he’s human. But he wasn’t flustered, embarrassed, or overwhelmed.
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommindy.blogspot.com
Looks like I may be the only one, but toys just dont do it for me. never have so hiding them isn’t an issue. Doesn’t mean I don’t have other ways of pleasuring myself, I do. I just don’t use toys. Anyone else??
I should probably look into this…however I know that I would be too annoyed “in the moment” that I had to go unlock something to get to my toys, that would be a buzzkill. So I don’t know. Right now, they’re all in my office or the bathroom in a cabinet where my little one can’t reach, but they’re not really hidden. Aaargh…
Funny story on the subject, two friends of mine from church (a 40-something and a teenager) offered to pack up the rest of my apartment and move it over to the house when I was in the process of moving. I was SO stoked. They came to my office, got my keys, and were off. When I went to the house, EVERYTHING was there! They were awesome! Looking through the bathroom, though, I found a box with a towel wrapped around something…unwrapped the towel and turned BRIGHT PURPLE when I realized it was my vibes and such. That’s definitely not what I had them in at the apartment. PURE MORTIFICATION. I go to a pretty sex-positive church, but still….I haven’t brought it up.
Ha! My son found mine once — he was really little, and referred to it as a “pink crayon”. It is now high up on a shelf, in my closet, in my travel bag.
In a padlocked tool box in my bedroom closet. I have often thought (usually while watching something like Law and Order) “What if I get murdered and they have to go through my stuff to find clues, and they cut open the lock while my loved ones are standing there?” Ha!
Oh, also – I won a vibrating rubber ducky from the Single Mom Seeking website, and my daughter was home alone when it was delivered (I think we were expecting another delivery, which is why she opened it). Luckily it didn’t say what it was really meant for, so she of course took it out and started massing her neck and legs with it! I never locked it up, and once or twice I’ve come home and found her playing with it. Omigod.
Twitter @ singlemommyhood
Kelly, that is simply hilarious…. but I’m so relieved that it all worked out!
Of course, my daughter found that same duck in my desk drawer — before I sent it to you — and begged me to let her have it… No! It was still taped, up, and I just explained that a special mommy had won it in a contest.
“But I want one, too!”
Rachel
MindyMom: I was never into toys to “pleasure myself.” But I do so enjoy having some to share with my loverman! (In fact, most of them, he picked out!)
He pleases me very well with or without them. They just add a fun dimension, from time to time.
Twitter @ http://www.ptlawmom.com
The good stores, like Babeland and Good Vibes, have some wonderful non-phallic, woman-friendly options. DrLeah, good point. I will look into other options.
MindyMom, you are missing out.
My teen son found my toys twice!
I recently “found” my son and daughter-in-law’s toys on a towel on the bathroom floor, drying, when I took my grandson upstairs to bathe him.
I asked my daughter-in-law if she would kindly move them as I did not want the grandson to play with them. Oh my gosh! We all got over it.
I’ve got 2 large matching art/deco boxes with lids that are kept on the top row of my shelving unit in my bedroom….they look innocent enough, just art.
If you’re looking for a way to keep things private AND convenient, check out http://www.toibocks.com. Designed to look like a jewelry box and sit on your nightstand it has a HIDDEN lock mechanism. Giving you easy access and the peace of mind in knowing no one can get to your things… not just toys but good jewelry, photos, cash, jewelry… you name it!