How do you handle those unexpected expenses?
by Dr. Leah
Filed under Single Parents
No matter how well you plan, life can catch you off guard.
As a single parent, you know about careful budgeting. You have a knack for stretching a dollar.
Many of you have survived calamitous divorces that force you to make difficult money choices and difficult compromises. Some of you have survived unexpected losses and bad luck.
Rachel recently blogged at Single Mom Seeking about her unexpected eviction notice. Who saw all those unplanned moving expenses coming? And those must-haves every new home requires?
I remember that first orthodontist visit with my daughter. I calmly listened to the orthodontist describe what needed to be fixed — it all seemed sensible and clear. Panic set in, however, when the costs were detailed.
I felt like I’d lost my breath. My first couple of cars cost less than the “course of treatment” that the orthodontist was so casually detailing!
You might know that I raised my “babies” without any financial support from their dad. Unexpected expenses for me always meant altering plans, changing priorities, and actively looking for extra ways to boost my income.
Today, we’re all coping with tight budgets in these tough economic times. When we’re hit with unexpected expenses, the financial juggling intensifies. How you cope is an intensely personal choice.
We’re wondering how are you coping with unexpected expenses? Are you able to coax a bit more support from you ex? Can you rely on family members for a no-strings loan? Have you found extra work?
We’d love to hear about any “extra money” inspirations that have worked out for you.
Maybe you’ve simply made yet another round of tough budget cuts? Did you ever find that you did not miss what you cut as much as you thought you would? Or were those cuts pretty hard to manage — and they left you feeling upset and angry?
You’re not alone if you’re struggling. Of course, feeling “overwhelmed” is perfectly normal.
We’d love to know how you’re managing.
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Twitter @ http://www.singlemommindy.blogspot.com
Wow, I just posted today about a medical bill for one of my kids that her father is trying to weasel out of paying. (event though we have a legal agreement defining his responsibility)
Obviously since there is a legal agreement I first go to him to contribute his share. This is proving to be an event every time I do. The last time it was for preschool/childcare. The guy tries to wiggle out of every expense that is aobve and beyond child support – but then he tried to get out of that responsibility as well.
To answer the question though; I cut corners big time, but there are no more left so I look forward to reading others’ responses.
http://singlemommindy.blogspot.com/2009/04/sick-snow-selfish-sob.html
MindyMom’s last blog post..Sick, Snow & a Selfish S.O.B.
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommindy.blogspot.com
Oh the typos! Oops.
MindyMom’s last blog post..Sick, Snow & a Selfish S.O.B.
Twitter @ http://wondermom-pickingupthepieces.blogspot.com/
Over the past year I’ve gotten to be a pro at cutting corners. The only things that have really hurt are taking the boys out of Montessori school and putting them in a public preschool and taking Squirt out of karate. He loved karate but it was at the Montessori school so when I moved them, I didn’t register him anywhere else. I’d give up food for myself (if I hadn’t done that already) to be able to have them back in a decent preschool! Oh yeah, and I’m really wishing I hadn’t scrimped on the divorce attorney! Otherwise, I haven’t really felt the sacrifices too much. What I’m making right now on unemployment is a third of what I was making at my last job and don’t get me wrong, it’s tight, but I don’t feel like my lifestyle has changed all that much. It’s kind of scary because I wonder where all the money was going before!
I am doing all the extra jobs I can…writing, sewing, babysitting, selling off unused things on eBay and Craigslist, etc. I’ve also been very fortunate in “making arrangements” when things came up. I had some unexpected repairs on my car and couldn’t make the rent on time but my landlord was understanding and gave me an extension. Squirt had to have some emergency dental work and the dentist gave me a discount and let me make payments over time. When the dentist told me how much it was going to cost, I burst into tears. I told him I’d clean his office or make phone calls for him or whatever I had to do to work off the bill but the work had to be done immediately because my baby was in pain.
I guess we just do what we have to do and somehow it always works out in the end.
Wondermom’s last blog post..Welcome to my life…
Twitter @ aprilabtbalance
I don’t think I’ll ever stop being a paycheck-to-paycheck gal. I get no help from my ex, but my parents have helped when I’ve had to unexpectedly move before. Also, while it’s not the smartest/cheapest way, an emergency credit card can make all the difference sometimes.
April’s last blog post..Disney on Ice
Twitter @ http://wondermom-pickingupthepieces.blogspot.com/
I posted yesterday but my comment disappeared. It’s been a crazy year for me and I’ve had to make a lot of adjustments financially. The only thing that really hurts is having to take the boys out of Montessori school (and Squirt’s karate) and put them into a regular daycare/preschool. I’d give up food for myself (oh wait…I already have!) to keep them in a nicer school. Oh and I’m really wishing I hadn’t cut corners on my divorce lawyer! Otherwise, there’s a lot of scraping and stretching and juggling but somehow we’re getting through.
I am doing all the extra stuff I can (sewing, writing, babysitting, selling off unnecessary items, etc.) Honestly, I don’t know how we’re getting by because the numbers just don’t add up, but somehow just when I’m the most desperate, a solution always presents itself.
I do remember last summer when Squirt had to have some emergency dental work. He was in a lot of pain and needed the work done right away but my bank account was overdrawn and everything was past due. When the dentist told me how much it was going to cost, I broke down and cried. I told him I would do whatever I had to…clean his office at night, make phone calls for him, sell my soul to the devil if I had to to pay for this treatment. He was the fourth or fifth dentist I had talked to and none of the others would even see him and take ex-rays unless I could pay up front. Thankfully, this dentist has 7 children of his own so he understood my predicament. He gave me a discount and worked out a payment plan I could live with. When we left that night, he gave me some cash to buy each of the boys a birthday gift they had told him they wanted!
It sucks not knowing how things are going to come together, but it does help to remember that somehow things always work out and we do survive.
Wondermom’s last blog post..Welcome to my life…
Twitter @ Singlemomindebt
I think I will always live paycheck to paycheck. I hate it. I have 4K in debt and am working to get that paid off so that I can have some extra money in the bank. I have taken on side jobs working at home, around my already hectic schedule (regular work, kid, housework, help with kids school work, etc.) It has helped to supplement my monthly income some…..every dollar helps !!
Single Mom’s last blog post..Easy Money- over $650
Okay, so here are my budget crunching tips for today…
If you have a hopital bill that you can’t pay, call the hospital’s billing department and ask if they have a financial aid program. In the case of religious-run hospitals, there are charities that helpthem with people who can not afford their bills. (One local hospital is a Catholic one and before I was on Medicaid they had me fill out an application that eventually led to our then family of 3 paying just $2 for every $10 billed for a year).
My youngest has a whole host of medical problems. Her hospital in Minnesota has a ‘community care program’. Anything not paid by insurance is being reduced by 1/2 for us for a year. I can, of course, apply again when the year is up.
Lastly, My C*mcast bill (cable & net) went up $40 in 18 months without a change in my service. I called to complain and found out they have an ‘economy internet package’ that they don’t advertise that was half the price of mine. Also, when I said I was going to have to finda new cable provider, they temporarily lowered my bill for 6 months. The bill went from $110 last month to $58 next month.
The most important part is to make sure you aren’t paying fo rthings you don’t really need…HBO? Movie channels? Other cost-cutting techniques don’t really work until you have trimmed the fat off your expenses!
Oh, one more thing, for medical, dental, optical, or vet expenses that you have pop up without warning… try Googling the Care Credit program. You can often get 0% interest for 18 months on huge expenses.
mykidsmomx4’s last blog post..Strong Girl
I’ve been scraping by the last couple of years. The first thing was to only eat out a couple of times a month. I suppose I’m lucky the kids’ mom (yes, she’s my ex wife but I prefer to think of her as “their mom” instead)has them 3 nights a week so I don’t get babysitters. That can get really expensive.
My girlfriend and I cook for each other and watch rented movies more than going out. I’m working harder than ever and it’s starting to pay off but new expenses keep coming up to absorb the extra money. I have to look on the bright side that at least that keeps me even. I work really, really hard and I know at some point things will turn around. I just try to keep focused on what I have and remind my kids to do that as well. It’s a grind though. I could write a book.
SDMktg’s last blog post..DUI on a Barstool
Thrift stores, swap meets, and bartering = more money in your savings account.
Notice that your best friend has been getting a little too thick lately? Let her know that you are trying to save money, then (tactfully) ask if she has any clothes she’d like to give away?
Nappy Kitchen’s last blog post..Gravatars
Times are tight all around, but for the single parent, we have always been in “recession mode.” I am a single parent of two awesome boys. I work two jobs to maintain our frugal lifestyle, yet it has been very difficult. You do learn to cut corners, have an emergency credit card, beg the cable guy for an extension, but there comes a point when you just want to give up. This is when your child does something adorable and you realize they are what make you strong, sound and grounded. It is very difficult to make ends meet these days, I have just taken on a third job and feel constantly exhausted, however, I strive daily to make it a better day than yesterday. I read a lot of books, and try to have as many pre-tax deductions as possible. I just found a website called: http://www.mvelopes.com -
Brenda’s last blog post..Demeaning Bosses
Twitter @ http://www.askthesingleparent.com
Something I knew about myself at a very young age is, “There’s nothing I can’t do!” I have to give credit to my Mom for instilling that type of confidence in me. I share this because with the many challenges I face as a single parent as well as the amount of tears I’ve cried, words I’ve yelled, and the feeling that there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, the reality is I am my own light, even if dim at times. My point is that no matter what financial burden I have found myself in over the last 7 years somehow, someway I always find a way, because now more than ever there is TRULY nothing I can’t do…for my child.
Where there is a will, there IS a way! And I don’t mean criminally lol
Daniella´s last blog ..Single Parenting | Belonging