More about sperm and the single girl
by Rachel Sarah
Filed under Choice Moms
Did you know that The Complete Single Mother, co-authored by our very own Dr. Leah, was the first book to EVER discuss choosing Singlemommyhood via donor insemination?
So, it was no surprise that Dr. Leah was quoted as an expert in the Marie Claire article, “Sperm and the Single Girl,” featured in March issue.
That’s why we’re also anxious to tell you how *honored* we are to see that our Singlemommyhood community is rapidly expanding.
The welcome mat is out for everyone. So, if you know someone merely mulling over possibility of single parenthood, please let them know we’re here and ready to listen.
And as soon as Marie Claire hit the magazine racks, we did receive this email from a worried prospective single mom.
Here’s what she had to say:
“I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mother. And that my life would be incomplete without the gift of children.”
(We get emotional when someone confides this truth to us. We both feel so incredibly blessed to have children.)
“I felt relieved when Dr. Leah said that it could be easier for a DI single mom to find a romantic partner than some women might think. After all, I still want to find love. I just can’t realistically wait for the right guy to come along. My eggs are simply not getting any younger.”
This thoughtful 30-something woman went on to say that she understood what Dr. Leah meant when she said that DI single moms have created a home and family. And because DI moms have achieved this dream, they are not emotionally needy.
And we agreed when this single woman added: “We all know that when you’re crazy needy, your chances of attracting a partner with relationship potential are zilch.”
So what’s holding this single woman back from going forward and making her dream happen?
“You’re going to think this is silly coming from someone with her her own successful start-up. But, what will I say after the baby is born to an well, an interesting, man? Is DI a first date topic. Or TMI?”
Without a doubt, some of you are DI mom dating experts. Or, you’re simply a single mom dating expert. (We do admit that this woman does “worry” pretty far ahead).
Still, this is an interesting question.
So, we’re asking:
Is how you became a single mom a first date conversation topic?
Or is this subject TMI until you get to know each other a bit more?
(Photo courtesy of futurowoman via Flickr)
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Ultimate go-to guide for single mothers. The Complete Single Mother is the only comprehensive and best selling self help book ever written for single parents. It’s packed with savvy advice, sisterly comfort, as well as reassuring answers to all your single mom challenges. |
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Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style. |
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For me it’s kind of led by the guy (haven’t been on many dates lately, but have chatted online with some guys when it’s come up). They need to know up front that you have a kid, but the whys and hows don’t usually come up until a few conversations in. If you leave it alone, at some point they’ll ask about what happened with your child’s father or bring up something that leads to that topic. Then you can mention it. I don’t think there’s a responsibility to bring up your DI on the first date any more than you should start discussing your entire relationship/sexual history.
Cat´s last blog ..Online dating, part eleventy-million
I think the real question for this DI mom-to-be is “will I be forever stigmatized and rejected by men as a DI mom?”
I plan on DI-ing it for my 2nd baby, and I don’t see the problem. It’s the route that appeals to me most. I’ve come to see relationships as falling into 2 main categories: the forever ones (parent-child) and the temporary ones (romantic), and I don’t think they mix well.
Shrug off the fear of being stigmatized. Do you REALLY give a damn if some people automatically will think you did it because you’re desperate or some such thing?! Sure some people will, but are they really the kind you want to hang out with in the first place? Examine your true motives, take the path that makes most sense to you, and have confidence in it! Good luck!
Well, as a DI mom I have experience with this. I have an almost 2 year old daughter and I am not seriously dating but I have chatted to guys about this (and other) topic(s).
Personally, I am a very open person. That is my nature and that is my personality. It is not the first thing that I talk about, but when they ask about the father I am certainly not afraid to tell them the truth. I love my daughter with all my heart and soul and I am not ashamed of the way that she was conceived. Is it a bit unique and unconventional? Absolutely. But please give me the name of a family in this world who is not at least a bit unique and unconventional? lol.
And if they are completely “normal”, I am sorry, but they would be as boring as hell!!
I feel that it is up to your comfort level. If you are comfortable and want to share this on the first date – go for it. If not, wait until a few dates have passed. There are no “rules” to these things.
Honestly, I would just say GO FOT IT!! You will never regret having a child. It is the most amazing and wonderful blessing ever. I did not say challenge-free (lol) but even with the challenges, it is still the most amazing and wonderful blessing ever.
No matter what you do or say, someone, somewhere will judge you for it. I say – to hell with them. If they are not paying my rent, then as far as I am concerned, they can keep their judgments to themselves.
Good luck!!!
Why not just say i have daughter or a son that i had on my own. It defuses the need to run ,because of the fear of dealing with an ex.Knowing there is no ex to play second fiddle to wanting to parent *if* things get serious.