Do you snoop?
by Dr. Leah
Filed under Dating, Tips & Advice
Thanks to Facebook, Google, and Twitter, spying on someone you’re dating just got a whole lot easier.
Tell us the truth:
Have you ever dated someone you’ve met online — and “just for fun” one night when you were alone — you logged online to see what he was up to?
We’re guilty of this. But as you know, trying to snoop on someone through an online dating site just doesn’t tell you very much. Fine, he logged on 24 hours ago, but what does that really mean?
As a single parent who’s out there dating, it’s so tempting to snoop. Don’t you think? We have so little time and energy to get to know someone when we’re dating.
Logging onto Facebook just seems so easy and fast. It”s like sneaking a peak in his closet, medicine cabinet, or going through a pile of photographs on his desk. Maybe you can learn something game changing — say, an impending bankruptcy or the fact that he’s still hot and heavy with his ex? — before you get hopelessly emotionally entangled.
But we can’t help but wonder if this is just freaky, out-of-control behavior.
While Twitter and Google might provide tidbits of information about someone you’re dating, Facebook goes much deeper.
Not only can you see photos (you didn’t tell me you were going to the bar last night!), you can read what others are saying (why did that woman sign that comment to him with “xoxo”?) Moreover, you can access information about someone’s past, through photos and comments.
Social-networking has made snooping so much easier. But are you guilty of taking the plunge?
Recently, Canadian academics analyzed the scope of snooping in a psychology survey of 308 Facebook users.
The more time that people spent on the site, the more suspicious they became of their partners. The women, who spent an average of 41 minutes on the site a day, grew more jealous than the men, who averaged 30 minutes.
It’s ironic: Facebook gives you the chance to announce your relationship status, but in the process, it might be hurting your relationship.
We’d love to know if you’ve ever snooped…. . And where do you draw the line?
|
Ultimate go-to guide for single mothers. The Complete Single Mother is the only comprehensive and best selling self help book ever written for single parents. It’s packed with savvy advice, sisterly comfort, as well as reassuring answers to all your single mom challenges. |
|
Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style. |
Related posts:
- Finding your absent ex on Facebook? In case you missed it… Rachel, aka Single Mom Seeking, was featured in the New York Times this weekend about...
- What’s the right thing for this single mom to do? We’re big Facebook fans. But we know that sticky situations can arise from Facebook. After all, we’ve commiserated with a...
Follow Singlemommyhood on Twitter
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommindy.blogspot.com
How is it snooping when a FB page is publicly displayed and you control who can and cant see it? If the person you are dating is a FB friend they have to assume you will check out their page every once in a while. Isn’t that what it’s for?
MindyMom’s last blog post..Mothers, Fathers & Our Kid’s Self-Esteem
Twitter @ http://goingsaneinacrazyworld.blogspot.com/
I will check there page out to learn more about them. Birthday and such. Also if they have pictures it gives me my fix until I see them again. Looking for red flags, no I don’t. It would be like snooping around in there medicine cabinet.
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommyhood.com
Good point Mindy Mom! Maybe “snooping” isn’t the right word?
We’ve heard about women (no names named!) who are constantly checking their guys’ updates to see what he is up to… but this says more about one’s jealousy, than about Facebook updates, I suppose?
I am guilty of googling searching a name or two. Only once did I come up with some shocking results. (New people I met.) Now once I am involved with someone I don’t see myself (I haven’t been involved with someone since the ex) snooping. I’ve come to the conclusion that if they give me a reason to snoop then that there is reason enough to leave. Trust is a big issue for me.
Also- I agree with is it really snooping if they are putting it out there for the world to see? It reminds me of when I told a guy his fly was down and he came back with why are you looking?! Ummmmm don’t have your stuff hanging out for the world to see..
Apples: So curious! What did you discover when you googled your “new friends”?
I ran across your website through Twitter. Yes, I have snooped on a date. When I first became single after 34 yrs being married most of the men were nice , a few weren’t & had criminal records. As a result I started my business CheckOutADate.com to help women who were not Internet savyto verify ID and the background of their love interest. Afterall, we can’t be too careful especially if we have kids at home.