Do you let your daughters wear make up?
by Rachel Sarah
Filed under Kids
Both of us have daughters, so we know firsthand that most girls love any combination of:
Sparkly, glittery, and glossy. Add to this list painted fingernails, flavored lip gloss, and eyeshadow. Do you agree?
Yes, we let our daughters play with our make up when they were little. It was part of dressing up and having fun. All innocent, right? Well, Rachel at Single Mom Seeking knows that it’s only a matter of time before the make up fun turns into something real.
There’s a difference between playing with makeup and wearing makeup. You — like us — are not blind to the fact that the beauty industry is marketing to girls younger and younger. Toddler girls are caring around bubblegum lip gloss in “purses.” They’re mimicking Britney Spears and Hannah Montana. Girls in kindergarten are asking to have make-over birthday parties.
Does this ring true for you, too?
We’ve noticed that moms and dads have very different views about whether their daughter should be allowed to wear make up.
We’d love to know:
Do you let your daughters play with make up?
And what happens when your daughter asks to wear make up for real — say, to school? Then what?
We’d love to hear your “make-up” rules.
|
Ultimate go-to guide for single mothers. The Complete Single Mother is the only comprehensive and best selling self help book ever written for single parents. It’s packed with savvy advice, sisterly comfort, as well as reassuring answers to all your single mom challenges. |
|
Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style. |
Related posts:
- My daughter says she’s fat. What do I do? “I need help!” began an email we received recently from the single mom of an eight-year-old. “My daughter was...
- Caught by my kids. Now what? We chat a lot about the all important balancing act when it comes to responsible parenting, paying the bills, and...
- When mean girl starts early We’ve followed with great concern the tragic events linked to bullying by tween girls. Single mom Michelle Renee bravely...
- I hate co-parenting! Help! A distraught single mom has shared a sad tale with us. It all started when her ex contacted her...
Follow Singlemommyhood on Twitter
Twitter @ http://mommasunshine.wordpress.com
My girls are 4 and 6 and already interested in make up (unfortunately). I have let them play with it from time to time, but let me just say that they’ll be a helluva lot older before they’re allowed to wear make up “for real”. I’m allllll about teaching them that true beauty is within, that make up isn’t necessary, blah blah blah…but I can’t be a complete hypocrite – since I wear it daily myself.
Then again, I *AM* 35. heh.
MommaSunshine’s last blog post..Spreading the Love
Ahh, another reason I’m relieved to have a son! Now if HE starts asking about makeup and wanting to wear it to school, I have no doubts it will be a hands-down, flat out, resounding “NO!”.
Ashley’s last blog post..Distressing All Around
Twitter @ http://lovebabz.blogspot.com
We have long since made the rule that the girls aren’t allowed to wear make-up until 14. Nail polish on fingers at 12. Which my 12yr can wear now. My 7 year old wears polish on her toes, but it is funky and fun…not sexually inspired….there is a difference.
My mother allowed me to wear make-up at 14. We sat down and ordered a few things from Avon that was teen inspired…and oh yes I had my own bottle of Sweet Honesty…LOL!
I think girls are getting makeup messages very very very early and Mothers are at a lost as to what to do. Oh Not me…I am very clear about the rules. But I see Mothers struggling with giving girls more freedom to be independent and free thinking.
Lovebabz’s last blog post..TANGO SUEÑO…TANGO LESSON #1
My daughter was allowed to wear lip gloss in 6th grade. Make-up in 7th grade was to night time Bar/Bat Mitzvah parties and consisted of eyeliner and lip gloss. Half way through that school year, I allowed eyeliner occasionally to school. In 8th grade by mid year, she wore make up almost daily – eyeliner. I’m ok with that – she’s on her way into high school and girls not allowed make-up will be the ones piling it on in the bathrooms.
Amy Sue Nathan’s last blog post..An aspiring author’s poem
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommindy.blogspot.com
I’ve let my girls start wearing makeup when they go to middle school (6th grade). It starts with a little lip gloss and then they progress into some eyeliner by 7th usually. The big thing has always been wanting to shave their legs, which I also approve in 6th grade – they seem to want to have smooth legs for when they dress out in gym or when wearing skirts. Choose your battles wisely though, there are plenty yet to come and makeup is a pretty minor one.
MindyMom’s last blog post..A Stronger Man
I think shaving the legs depends on the girl — my daughter did that in 5th grade.
Yet, she is still not interested at all in plucking or waxing her eyebrows.
Amy Sue Nathan’s last blog post..An aspiring author’s poem
Twitter @ aprilabtbalance
Both my girls like to play with make-up at home, as dress-up material, but neither of them are allowed to wear it yet. I don’t have a definite time-line on that. My oldest is 11, and just finished 6th grade. She hasn’t started asking yet, and I want to gauge it by her maturity, not an age.
April’s last blog post..Belated weekend wrap-up
When she’s married and her husband says it’s ok!!
All jokes aside, I have an 8 and 5 year old. Both are on competitive dance teams and have to wear makeup. So they’ve been exposed to it early. They do put it on for “play” at home as I’ve had to scrub faces some nights. I don’t think they should be wearing it to school for a while though. I’m not sure what age is acceptable, but it seems that media of all types are making girls “older” at younger and younger ages. I just want my babies to stay young.
there’s one dad’s point of view.
Ugh! I’m going through this with my 2 1/2 year old. She sees me put on “makeamuck” and “lip glop” and wants it, too. I admit to being a makeup whore (after 16 years of working in the beauty industry in marketing one accumulates A LOT of freebies). She’s fascinated by the brushes, the compacts, the mirrors, the colors and the application process. I remember being enthralled with my mom’s going out process in the 60’s/70’s. It was enticing watching the metamorphasis. But, I tell her it is “big girl stuff”. It falls into the category of “When you are a big girl you will . . . ” use pads/tampons (another fascination), big shoes, sit in the front seat of the car, etc. I have let her put on Chap Stick (but took it away once she wanted to eat it). I don’t want her to think she isn’t pretty unless she has “makeamuck” on & see her associating pretty=makeup already. I’m going to try to avoid her using makeup/lip gloss (probably the most difficult)/nail polish as long as possible but do realize that, somewhere along the way, a girlfriend or an attack upon my makeup (you don’t even want to know about her encounter with some bright red lipstick at 24 months) will undermine my efforts to keep her from wearing products. I would like to forestall it until junior high while slowly introducing what is allowable (and showing her a light handed application).
Twitter @ canadianbaldguy
Wow…tough question.
My daughter is 10 and has already dabbled in “play” make-up like glitter and stuff of that nature. But real make-up? That’s tough.
I think because she lives with her mom, that I’ll leave that final decision to her. I’d like to think that “technically” becoming a teenager at 13 might be a nice number to wait for, but I really don’t know for sure.
If the ex is on board with 14 or 15, then I’ll enforce that when she comes to visit. I really don’t think she’ll leave that decision to me…but if it was then I’d probably say 13 or 14, but definitely in moderation only!!
Canadian Bald Guy’s last blog post..Dad’s a good singer
don’t have any daughters, but i am one. i remember my mom wouldn’t let me do a bunch of things before i turned 16. i couldn’t wear extremely large earrings, which was kind of a downer on the “around-the-way” girl look. i couldn’t wear make-up, couldn’t shave my legs, and couldn’t get anymore piercings in my ears. i was plain jane & i think that kept me from being fast….which is a good thing.
i teach middle school and ALREADY many girls come w/ extreme eye-liner, lipstick (not gloss), and full on make-up. i always ask if their mothers have seen them, they say yes…i guess times have changed.
theprisonerswife’s last blog post..Label Me This
I got my first makeup at age 12 because I kept pestering for it. Some girls are into makeup, some aren’t. I always loved experimenting and in high school (in the 80’s) girls were always complimenting me on my butterfly wing-esque eye makeup — blue eyeliner on top, green on the bottom (or swapped) and purple and green eyeshadow. Plus probably blue mascara. It was like an art form to me — all the colors and textures, so pretty! I loved lipsticks, just seeing all those amazing colors in the tubes.
I also put together “outfits,” used hot rollers and lots of hairspray, and wore jewelry and perfume (Liz Claiborne, Poison, Georgio, Eternity, etc). Sounds very grown-up to my adult mind now, but looking back I remember it was just fun, girly, enjoyable — not indicative of anything serious or too adult or sexy in my adolescent/teen mind.
And wearing makeup and perfume and hairspray didn’t lead to me having sex with boys or getting into other troubles. I was a good girl — I didn’t drink or smoke or do drugs, I was conservative with boys, and I was polite to elders, etc.
When I see the makeup for young girls today, I mostly feel jealous that I didn’t have all that choice when I was their age! I also wish I had a daughter or niece to buy it for. It’s fun, if you let it be fun.
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommyhood.com
Brooke: thanks for pointing out that some girls might wear make up because it’s like playing dress up. Perhaps we do get overly paranoid that girls with make up will grow up too fast… I’m fascinated by this discussion today!
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommyhood.com
Thanks to the mamas who’ve opened our eyes to the fact that we need to write a post about shaving… Add that to the list!
Yes, I do. She’s 13, doesn’t wear it every day, and when she does, uses it sparingly. Experimenting with make-up, hair color, etc. is fun fun for girls… I don’t have a problem with it. Then again, so far my daughter has shown me fairly modest taste when it comes to these things.
Lately she’s mentioned dying her hair black. I said OK as long as … Read Moreit’s not permanent… how about black henna? She decided against it, considering the color as it fades out potentially looking grey. That was the end of that conversation.
In my opinion, if kids are given a balanced level of freedom and choice, and responsibility when it comes to important things to them, they are more willing to listen and respect their parents opinions and be agreeable without a fuss.
I don’t have a daughter, but I am one. My mom stuck to the fact that “kids are defiant”, so she let me start wearing makeup in the 6th grade. It was mostly lip gloss. She taught me how to use it and what was classified as wearing it wrong. Once she saw that I could wear it right she let me slowly progress into pastel eyeshadows and later at 13/14 she’d just let me buy what I wanted (mascara, foundation, etc.)I know some of my friends now smother on makeup because they think it’s cool and that they get a “thrill” out of going against the rents.
As for shaving legs? It really depends on the girl. By the time they start growing hair on their legs is usually when they’re mature enough to shave.
For me makeup didn’t make me grow up too fast or steal my childhood. I saw it as a way to express myself and as an art!
As for an age to give permission to? It all depends. Just make sure you teach your girl/s how to put it on and how much is too much.
im 15 years old and i dont do anything wrong. i never get in trouble. ive always gotten gopd grades and strived for straight a’s (which i just got). i have an extensive amount of chores and i do them all without a disscussion about it. im not allowed to wear make up and its such a bummer
i would love it so much if i could just be allowed to wear a little eyeliner and maybe some mascara. my mother is very strict. i very rarely leave the house, so is it a big deal to wear a little make up to school?? could any moms please tell me how to explain to my mom why i should be allowed to wear make up? id really appriciate it THANX SOOO MUCH <3
DEPRIVED 15 YR OLD’s last blog post..Happy Father’s Day, Part II
Honestly,some girls dont wear it to look sexy at all. Some wear it to play and have fun,some wear it to look older then they are,and some just wear it because they can. Honestly I dont think that there should be a certain age as to if they are mature enough for it,and it really depends on the parents if they can trust their kids. I think they shouldnt wear dark colors until they are older,thats all. When I was younger[Like five or six.],I saw the dark red lipstick as only lip stick and just wanted to play with it. Now,I barely wear any lip gloss/lipstick even if I’m old enough for it,because its just is too sticky. Some girls think your strange if you dont have lip gloss,and some hate wearing make up. It depends on the girl,the maturity,and the trust of the parents. I devoleped early in life,getting breast at nine and period at ten,and people thinking I was sixteen when I was twelve,because I responded not as a kid,but like a adult I guess. But some people forget to realize,that they were twelve once too,and that kids arent stupid,and maybe would be oblivious to certain things,but otherwise really observant.. I remember at least that much when I was eight. Sure,I knew I was a stupid little kid that didnt know much about the adult life style,but I wasnt stupid and oblivious to it either. Honestly,I talk to seven year olds like their adults,just to see if they can understand about what I talk about,and its kinda interesting when you actually listen to them,and try to see the intelligence masked deeply in their words somewhere. When I was a kid,I would just answer bubbly stuff,expecting a serious answer. But anyhow,good luck. ;]
Im not a mother but im a teen ager. Im 12 and this is what i do. Makeup is something i LOVE and cannot live without and im VERY matture and everyone thinks i look like im 14 but not cause off makeup. When i go to stores and hang out with my mom , i dont wear any. Im in middle school (6th) and i wear eyeliner and mascara. When i go out with my friends, samee but a lightt bright cream sparkley eyeshadow. Thats it. My mom lets me and doesnt care cause she gives me lots off fredom and i like that off courseee haha but it depends on the look , maturity , and your parents. Thats my answer(:
My mother never talks to me about wearing make up or anything. Lot’s of my friend’s are wearing it and stuff. Sometimes it doesn’t bother me but sometimes i wish my mom wold at least talk to me about it.I have older brothers’ and my mom does’nt even wear it.(only foundation sometimes and lipstick)
I’m not a mother eighter I’m a tween you know a 12yr. My mom doesn’t let me where make up only lipgloss i guess just not 2 much n i understand that u know but one day i had asked my mom what age i can wear makeup n she said a while,its not around the corner i said really i thought it waz n she said no.but i keep asking her cause if you do she might say yes like u can’t give n if u do u might miss out on wearing make-up.Cuz i know i wouldn’t want 2 be all plain n dry looking face u want some of that little color that makes u look natural it makes you look like you dont really have make-up natural beauty.P.S try not 2 rush ur age believe me you don’t wanna look like a CLOWN!!!!!!
Wow that’s incredible lauren. I really like eyeliner my fave
Im 14, and wear makeup to school- foundation & mascara
Out on the weekends, its foundation, eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, blush.
Compared to my school days to my weekends, im wearing hardly any to school.
My sister on the other hand is 12 wears no makeup to school, but wears alot on the weekend.
It makes her look tacky as she wears it to the full extent and cannot do it properly.
My mother lets her, as long as purchase by herself & is not worn to school.
Parents should allow their children as it can be a confidence booster, and if its something were not allowed were only going to go into the bathrooms & cake it on.
let her wear it my mom wont let me wear it and im 12. i really want too she caught me with it on and took my phone away for a month trust me she isnt intrested in boys but when u see other people with it you really want too it wont change her it give confidence.
I’m 12, and my mom lets me wear makeup. Just the other day she dumped a whole bag of makeup she got from a family member and told me and my sister that we could take whatever we wanted. She let me take eyeshadow and blush; she wanted to give me lipstick too, but I didn’t. Not my kind of thing.
I started wearing eyeliner, very little, in 6th grade. In 7th now, I wear it more. My mom even complimented my dark eyeliner that I tried on for fun. I think that once you start middle school, it’s not TOO big of a deal to wear some makeup. And, if you let your kids wear it, they won’t be sneaking it behind your back.
Im 11 and i wear mascara lipstick blush and true mineral foundation i think it just covers up ance scars basically i wear minreal now so i dont get acne i wore foudation but i started getting lots of pimples and ance which was terrible my mum never really set a rule or set a guideline on what not to use she just said ok
Hey Rachelle. I read your comment and i do exactly the same. Im 11. I wear Lipgloss true minreal foundation i got from body shop £15 nott some cheap orange crap. and some nice blush to make it look natural. I wear it to school. but one day teacher said that im not aloud to wear it. so… i gotta go to school lookin pale. hm great how come they wear high heels and makeup.
i am 14 years old (going into high school) and i am not allowed to wear makeup! i understand that my mom doesn’t want me growing up too fast, but at the same time, my best friends are all wearing it and they look really good. As for me, i think that makeup would make me feel better about myself and it would give me a boost of confindence. all i want is to be able to wear a bit of eyeliner, masacra, and/or natural eyeshadow. i already have googd skin, so i ask for nothing more!
okay , im 11 , turning 12 in july . I get REALLY mad because everyday i wake up with black bags under my eyes & i want to wear foundation but my mom doesn’t let me . I have never asked my mom if i could shave my legs , but i do anyways & she doesn’t seem to find out. I got rpc’d once for bad notes in 6th grade(which i still am in). I usually get good grades but i never get grounded for bad grades. I go out a lot , because i ask my dad ONLY . my dad is the soft kind , my mom is a lady you have to give a reason to go out. I want to wear makeup , such as LIGHT mascara or clear , curl my eyelashes , wear eyeshadow at least for 2 days a week ,and wear foundation so i can cover up zits. I understand my mom doesn’t want me to grow up fast but when i see my friends wearing makeup , i feel different from them . it will at least make me feel better & give me a little more freedom . I want to explain to my mom i want to wear makeup , but i dont know how to explain it to her . Can anybody help me ? I rarely tell her things & its hard to converse with her about things such as guys & dating & makeup & drama. I want to convince my mom to let me date at least. Can a mom tell me whats her opinion or at least help me to talk to my mom about wearing makeup Hopefully a mom can help me answer all these questions above.
I’m going into high school this year and I wear some makeup (mascara, lipgloss, blush) but I went out and got some eyeliner with my friend and my mom questioned “who said that you could wear eyeliner?” Well, I’m going into 9th grade and I think that’s totally appropriate for freshman! PLUS I’m sensible, I’m not going to cake it on like a maniac. I just wish my mom would see from my point of view…
I’m a 36 year old single mom w/an 11 year old daughter. She will be starting 6th grade in August & we recently faced the make-up question…
From a very young age I was always allowed to wear lip gloss. However, my mom didn’t allow me to shave my very hairy legs until I finished 8th grade & then allowed me to wear pink lipstick starting my Freshman year, mascara my Sophomore year, blush my Junior year and Senior year she didn’t care what I wore. Yet each step she always showed me how to apply it. Needless to say, I love wearing make-up today, but I dnt need it AND I dnt wear it regularly! I think her allowing things @ appropriate time frames helped.
She was very different w/my younger sister who started wearing eyeliner in 7th/8th grade and so on and although she too doesn’t need it she wears it more often than I do, but doesn’t wear it daily…
Anyways…I’ve known the day wld come w/my daughter when she wld ask about make-up… And so @ the ripe age of 11 it has…
A little history w/my daughter…I’ve NEVER allowed her to have play make-up! I always felt it wasn’t appropriate and she played dress up just fine. I’ve allowed her to wear clear lip gloss since like 2nd grade, before that it was flavored chapstick. I had no problem w/clear lip gloss ever & she never pushed for more. She never tried to use my make-up either. She’s always been allowed to paint her nails a lite pink since…well since she was a toddler & I started allowing the fun funky colors on her toes in 2nd grade. She started shaving the summer going into 5th grade, I said 6th, but she pushed it & I made a deal that if my mom said ok, then she cld shave. To my surprise my mom said yes…Anyways…back on subject…
Last year I finally gave her some of my old eye shadows & “allowed” the play make-up, which she uses once in a while. But recently she’s been pushing things & trying to wear eyeliner, which I shut down! Today she finally asked me if we could talk about allowing her to wear eyeliner or mascara in 7th or 8th grade.
Now as strict as I am, my daughter & I have really good communication actually, we have great communication! She understands the rules & why I feel a certain way about things & yet I stay open minded enough to hear her out. So I wasn’t surprised by her question but I was surprised @ my GREAT response because I really wasn’t prepared…
1st I asked her why she wanted to start wearing make-up & I heard her out… After her explanation I said “well here’s the deal. Sure we can talk about it in 7th/8th grade, but more than likely it’ll be 8th grade when/if I allow u to wear anything & I wld probably only allow mascara.” and then I added “right now you need to show me that you can take care of your pretty skin. You dnt wash your face daily & if you wore make-up you will have to wash your face daily. So you need to show me you can take care of your skin. And as time goes on & I see you can take care of your skin, then I’d be more likely to let you start w/some mascara.” she said ok and I dropped her off @ her volunteer job and left it @ that…
After logging online to see what other parents had to say, as I wanted to be sure I was being fair & not being too old fashioned I handed her my Avon book & said pick out some stuff…
She circled a bunch of stuff including colored lip glosses. So I thought what a perfect opportunity to see how she felt about my answer. So I asked “are you ok w/what I said about make-up today?? Do you think I’m being fair?” she said “yes, it’s cool. You want me to take care of my face so you can trust me w/wearing make-up, so yes waiting till 7th/8th grade is fine.”
With that I thought “ok she’s being reasonable…too reasonable… So I told her that I will get her 1 of the light pink lip glosses, but not the darker pink she originally picked out. And I said, “that’s a 7th grade color” she said “ok cool!”
A few minutes later I asked her “are you sure you’re ok w/waiting till 8th grade to wear make-up? Are you going to sneak it and wear it now at school?”
She laughed and said “mom, I dnt even wash my face everyday now, and you just want to see me do that. I’m too lazy to 1. Pull all my stuff out my backpack when I get to school & put on make-up and 2. I’m too lazy to have to wash my face everyday before I come home and you see me. I’ll wait and by then I might be washing my face everyday”
I laughed and said “you’re so right! You are lazy about that”
I am 1 who firmly believes that everything MUST be age appropriate!!! I dnt believe these parents shld be allowing their girls to wear make-up so young, not because they might do bad things, but because they just dnt need to grow up so quickly! Enjoy being young!!
I am however OK w/lip gloss as I dnt think it’s a big deal… I dnt even consider it “make-up”. And because my daughter was so reasonable about waiting till 1. She shows me she can keep her face clean and 2. A little older, I agreed w/out her verbally asking to a colored lip gloss…again giving her a lighter color than what she wanted, but it still has color…in addition I also allowed her to pick out a darker nail polish for her toes and hands, which she didn’t even ask for, but her eyes lit up!!!
Ultimately, it’s about deciding what you can live w/and still making them feel like they gained a little more freedom & control… I consider this a MAJOR victory for me but she sees it as a huge gain for her, which I planned! So we both win!
Those of you young ones who want to know how to talk to your mom… Start w/a question like my daughter did. She didn’t ask to wear it right now, she asked if we could TALK about it in the future. Ask mom why she doesn’t allow it or want you wearing it. Be ready to sweetly explain to your mom why YOU want to wear make-up. And be open to accept a compromise (ie: she’ll only allow mascara or colored lip gloss or eyeliner) whatever it is she allows, take it w/no arguments, because it’s more than what you have now and you can always ask her if you can talk about adding more to what she’s allowed at a date sometime in the future!!!
Either way… Your 1st step is to ask your mom IF you 2 can talk about wearing make-up…. You might be surprised as she might’ve been thinking since you never asked you don’t want to wear it!!!
Good luck!
Alicia: We SO appreciate hearing how you handled the make-up dilemma. You’re a terrific mom!
I’m a daughter, not a mother. I’m 14 this October, and I’ve been asking my mom if I could start wearing makeup. I am Filipino, born in the Philippines but raised in Canada since the age of 4. Growing up around white girls who have been dying their hair since 6th grade and wearing eyeliner since 7th is difficult. Though I never really thought girls at that age should be wearing makeup and dying their hair (Not to mention they didn’t apply it very neatly either.) Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to copy other girls or give in to peer pressure. If I was to copy anyone, it’d be my favorite celebrities: Zooey Deschanel, Dianna Agron, Lucy Hale. I’m asking for a bit of eyeliner. That’s it. She said no, because removing it would stretch the skin around my eyes and make them look worn by the age of 25. I find this very unfair especially hearing that my mother has worn makeup even earlier. I completely agree with a comment above me who said that girls prevented from wearing makeup when they are ready are the ones piling it on in the bathrooms. I don’t want to lie and wash makeup off vigourously in the bathroom everyday, but I am not satisfied with my plain eyes and pubescent skin.
Camille: It would not be right of us to contradict your mother. But, here’s the best piece of beauty advice I ever received. Spend as much time and care taking off your make-up as you do putting it on. NEVER go to sleep without carefully removing every last trace of make-up. You’re an articulate and obviously intelligent young woman. We wish you well.