Thanksgiving without your kids?
by Rachel Sarah
Filed under Kids, Single Parents, Tips & Advice
For those of you who have shared custody — with alternating holidays — however, this day might find you without your kids.
So, we’ve been wondering lately: what if we were NOT able to celebrate Thanksgiving with our kids. What would we do?
And suprise: we totally disagree on this one.
Dr. Leah, aka the Sanity Fairy, was quick to say: “Single parents justifiably complain about having no time for themselves.”
“So, a ‘no kid’ holiday is the perfect opportunity for complete indulgence.”
She suggests that you spend time as YOU choose:
“How about a long soak in the tub without interruption?”
“Eat whatever you want!” (No finicky kid palates means that you can eat peanut butter out of the jar, or have a chocolate day? How about Chinese take-out?)
“Binge on watching those DVDs you’ve been wanting to enjoy. If you’ve missed Mad Men or some other series, here’s the chance to catch up uninterrupted.”
“That way, when your kids get home exhausted and cranky, you’re ready to tackle what needs to get done.”
Of course, I think that having a holiday uncelebrated would feel incredibly lonely.
I’m a fan of having a Thanksgiving with your girlfriends, if your kids are with the “other parent.”
Keep it simple! Everyone brings a dish so no one is overwhelmed by the cooking. Share some wine and food, laugh, and catch up. No one needs to spend a holiday alone.
We’re interested to know: Are you going to be kid-less for Thanksgiving?
How do you plan to spend Thanksgiving day?
P.S. Our thoughts on Thanksgiving without your kids were inspired by that blogger who goes by Ms. V. Thanks!
(Photos courtesy of Jane and inabeanpod via Flickr)
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I used to be on my own every Thanksgiving before my 4th daughter was born (since my ex always has that holiday with the kids and I always have X-mas).
One of the best years I had was when I volunteered to help serve a Thanksgiving meal to hundreds of the homeless at a local resturant with an organization that does this every year. My role was to float around and refill coffees so I was interacting with these people quite a bit. It was a very positive experience, one that I will do again when LO is older and can come with me.
Mindy/Single Mom Says´s last blog ..On to the Next
Twitter @ http://pigeonsandplatypi.blogspot.com
My ex is taking our son to his parents’ house in another town for Thanksgiving, with my encouragement. I am sad not to be with him, but Thanksgiving is not as big of a deal for me as other holidays. I plan to have the actual meal at a friend’s house, knowing that I can either eat and run or actually be of some help to her if she needs it. I also plan to do a giant toy purge of my son’s room in prep for Xmas, and see a bunch of movies, repair some blinds, run a lot, etc. I’m going to try to take advantage of the time.
Allison´s last blog ..Oh, I am just fried.
Twitter @ singlemommyhood
Wow, @Allison, you have certainly got some plans!
@Mindy: So, what are your plans this year? Will all of your girls be with you?
Twitter @ http://coparenting101.org/
I spent my first kid-less Thanksgiving in Vegas with a guy I was dating at the time. My mother and grandmother had died that year, and I was divorcing–I really didn’t want to do a “family” thing.
We alternate Thanksgiving with the kids, so 2 years later, I spent Thanksgiving with my now-fiance and some of his family members. His kids were with their other parent that year too.
Last year, we had all 4 kids with us. This year, it will be me, my fiance, and my future bonus daughters. Today, however, my girls and I are having a Soul Food Night with some family friends, since we won’t be together on Thursday.
Deesha´s last blog ..“The Package Deal” by Izzy Rose of StepMother’s Milk…and Other Mom Stuff
I do a bit of both suggestions. I usually have Thankgiving with some friends, but leave early and hang out at home. It’s always nice to have free time and keeping it short and sweet gives me less time to think, “Oh it’s Thanksgiving and I don’t have the kids….”
I’m doing a series of tips on how to survive the holidays as a single parent. Most of al I think people should do what feels best for them and not feel guilty about it!
Twitter @ CulminatingLife
I’m not sure what I’m going to do.
This will be the first Thanksgiving alone. I don’t live in an area that is even remotely close to any family or friends and I’m new the area. So I was thinking I could just make a dinner by and for myself. Rent some comedies. Go for a walk.
Thanks for the reminder. You’ve completely harshed my mellow. lol
It will be pretty rough.
Travis´s last blog ..Insomniacs Parental Guide to Moving Into Dangerous Neighborhoods
I have been there done that Travis… it sucks. No other way to put it. However, do domething that you can finally do without worrying about what the kids, or spouse think or want. Watch all three football games without interruption, or go see a man flick, or anything YOU like to do. If you lived in So Cal area, I’d invited you over for dinner with family and friends of mine. No kids for me this year as well… adult-only dinner. No kiddie table!
Coachdad´s last blog ..My testicles and me
Twitter @ singlemommyhood
@CoachDad, thanks SO much for your advice for @Travis. Love your suggestion:
“Do something that you can finally do without worrying about what the kids, or spouse think or want. Watch all three football games without interruption, or go see a man flick, or anything YOU like to do.”
Twitter @ CulminatingLife
I actually was going to spend the day honing my cooking skills and have the games going on in the background. And I then I will cozy up to multiple marathons of awesomeness that is Psych, Pushing Daisies, and Bones.
I guess I just got caught off guard by actually recognizing that I will really be by myself.
I’m a MS3TK kind of guy, so going and watching a movie isn’t really that fun unless I can mock it thoroughly in the company of others.
Travis´s last blog ..Insomniacs Parental Guide to Moving Into Dangerous Neighborhoods
Twitter @ http://www.thesinglemotherschronicles.com
Hi,
Well I think you are both spot on too (everything is always gray, isn’t it?). It’s good to enjoy time off without your kids, because we get so little of it; but there’s no way you can avoid feel lonely during the Holidays when you don’t have your kids.
I am always surrounded by family and friends during the Holidays, whether I have my daughter or not. Still, on the occasions when I don’t have her, it’s impossible not to miss her presence. There’s just no substitute for some things…our devilish little angels, and real butter!
Last year, my daughter was at her father’s place and she came home on the Sunday after Thanksgiving and said,”Mom, oh my goodness, we forgot to make a turkey at your house.” My boyfriend and I went to the store, bought a turkey, and made it with her that night.
- Swati
Swati Bharteey´s last blog ..Chicken with Tomatoes and Lime (delicious, quick, and healthy recipe)
If you are new to not having your kids for a holiday, there are 2 things you need to do: 1) Stay busy and 2) Be with other people. Otherwise you will be a sniveling mess.
As you get more accustomed to this surreal state of being without your children, and not having a million and one things to do like pack lunches and tie shoes… take a nap, have a drink and use that me-time to remember who you are sans-children. You’ll be a better person for it. But don’t try to do this if you are a newbie, like I said.
Since this is my second round of holidays without my boy, I am doing a bit of both. Being with my parents, celebrating the holiday, but also staying at a hotel with a hot tub, and outlet shopping nearby.
Twitter @ http://www.singlemomsaves.com
I was thinking about volunteering somewhere, but I think this year I’m going to do a bit of relaxing, crafting, and getting ready for Christmas, my most favorite holiday of all!
Mydria´s last blog ..Luna Pads: Would You Wear These?
Anna: Useful distinction between “newbies” and those who have somewhat mastered the ropes of a kid-less holiday. Thank you! Love the hot tub idea and, of course, the outlet shopping. Have a wonderful time.
I just put my kids on a plane today to be with their mom & her family for Thanksgiving.
I’ll be spending the day relaxing with my girlfriend and her family. The first couple of holidays without them were the hardest. We alternate though so it isn’t every year and I’m thankful they are coming back Saturday. Now I can get our place cleaned up this week and catch up.
Twitter @ singlemommyhood
@Steve: Just to let you know that we’re thinking about you. Sounds like it was an emotional day.
Please enjoy your week, your time, your girlfriend, her family… and relax. Yeah!
Twitter @ desiree_allen
I was supposed to be sans kids this year but, with moving the three of us to NJ, I am going to have them at home. We’ve invited my uncle and aunt that live in VA, and their three adult children will be there, too. Haven’t seen them in ages – it’ll be great.
Desiree´s last blog ..Mary Monday
It just stinks, and it’s worse when your child doesn’t want to leave, like mine. Bucking up is tough, but I’m going to try.
Monica´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at
You’re so right, Monica. That’s a tough situation. Please let us know how things work out.
Twitter @ http://www.askthesingleparent.com
However, inside, there is a perpetual lump. And, it is there that the food meets my emotions; it truly difficult to digest anything. Nevertheless, there are moments that I’m truly laughing and truly swallowing. But,am I “happy” without my daughter at any holiday and/or event? NO!
Any holiday without my daughter hurts, yet, I walk with my head held high. I smile, laugh, and I look really good as the food’s going down – - I’m Jewish, there’s food at every holiday/gathering
Daniella´s last blog ..Single Parenting | When your Ex becomes an Ex