Is clutter an issue for you?
by Dr. Leah
Filed under All, Featured, Single Dads
We’re proud of our Singlemommyhood community. Our strength comes from putting our heads – and hearts – together to help one another. Lately, we’ve received an avalanche of messages disclosing your struggles with clutter. We understand how overwhelming managing your possessions can get, especially when you’re in the midst of a life crisis or huge transition.
Here’s our perspective on what we’ve heard – so far – from YOU:
Day to day responsibilities are overwhelming. The junk mail heaped on the kitchen table, the jumble of old newspapers and magazines, or those long dead houseplants – UGH! – on the kitchen window sill just don’t rank as priorities compared with juggling the kids’ needs and your own career demands. And relationships – no matter how satisfying - require time and attention.
The difference between clutter busting and organizing is confusing. The organization craze has morphed into an industry. All those “organizational tools” and plastic storage bins are just pricey ways to manage stuff - you likely don’t need. Every drawer and closet does not have to resemble an upscale clothing store. Honestly, you have far more important priorities than color coding your kids’ socks or arranging your lipsticks according to type and shade.
Clutter means it gets in your way. Do you have to step around piles of stuff to get from one place to another in your home? Are you holding on to things – just in case? Are you reluctant to invite friends to your home for fear of their reaction? If so, your stuff – clutter – stands in the way of the health and happiness you deserve. So, likely our kids’ drawers will stay messy, but if their drawers are crammed with outgrown items – it’s clutter. Your make-up can get scattered, but if an item has a distinctly funky odor, it’s clutter.
So, we’re here to listen:
Are you having clutter issues?
If so, please share. [no judgments here]
Or have you learned how to tackle clutter?
If so, please share your best tips and advice.
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Photo via Flickr: glukorizon
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Twitter @ http://deleted
I would have to sometimes- I am stressing sometimes. Sometimes the house will get messy- the folded clothes might stay on the couch a day or two maybe three, stuff like that- but usually I get to it in a day or two. The office on the other hand- it seems to be my catch all. I just can just stuff in there, and “figure” out what to do with it, or put it. Clothes for donating go in there until I take them to the goodwill, that stack of paper gets put in there until I can sort it out and file the important stuff away- craft items get put into the drawers in the dresser in there I got specifically to hide some of the office crazyness. I can just close the door and I don’t have to see it… all the time.
Twitter @ http://mommasunshine.wordpress.com
I feel like I am constantly battling clutter. Since separating from my ex my daughters and I live in a small apartment, and it has been difficult to let go of my old ways from when I had MUCH more space to work with. Usually what happens is that the clutter builds up and then I go on a cleaning rampage to deal with it and clear it out. I think the solution is to find better methods of storage and dealing with my “stuff”, but so far I haven’t gotten there yet.
This is a struggle for me. When the bf is in town, I do a much better job of managing it (he’s way neater than I am), but when he’s not, the piles grow. I found a 30 day cleaning schedule and went so far as to plug it into my calendar, thinking 20 minutes a day doesn’t seem like so much, but it didn’t “take”. I like the idea of deep cleaning one room in the house per weekend, and “surface” cleaning a room per weekday evening. I think part of it is that I resent having to do it all myself…
Twitter @ busysouthernmom
I’ll admit I have a problem with this issue. In addition to being a single mom of a 2 yr little boy who is active as all get out, I also deal with bipolar on a daily basis. When it’s a bad day I just let everything in the house go to heck; laundry, dishes, garbage. When it’s a good day I’m like a crazed woman going through the house trying to clean everything that is wrong up until I tire myself out, which tends to start the slide into a bad day. There are several times when I have called friends and family to help me get it done in one day just to be able to break the cycle, but that doesn’t happen to often since I tend to be too embarrased to have anyone over due to the state of my house. Do I resent? Of course I do…It would be so much easier to have someone to share the day to day responsibilites with.
Twitter @ NokomisMichelle
Oh HOLLA! Boy oh boy can I relate to this! I have allowed the sink to run over with dishes until my son dug his hands in and did them. I can’t come home from work every day and then go straight into chores. I don’t mind sweeping or taking out the garbage or even laundry because they only happen a couple times a week tops. But those dishes, oh those dishes, they do pile up and I’m not the only person living in the house. My son is 11, there is no reason why he can’t help me and he absolutely should be helping me.
YESYESYESYESYES!! I have this grand image in my head of the beautifully decorated, nary-a-spec-of-dust-to-be-seen sort of place that I can be proud of…instead, it’s stained carpet and a coffee table covered in crap I have no idea what to do with (which means it belongs in the trash). And many, many specs of dust. It’s such a losing battle…tomorrow it’ll be right back, so why bother? Just not enough time in the day, or energy! And oh the shame…we might as well be hermits.
Twitter @ mightbeatranny
no. actually, since i left my husband, the house looks fabulous. i thought it was the kids i couldn’t keep up w/, but turns out it was him. before, i literally cannot remember the laundry EVER being caught up. and there was always “stuff” dropped everywhere. shoes in the living room, jacket on the chair in the kitchen. piles of news paper & magazines. he never did a dish or ran the vacuum. now, the girls take their own dishes to the kitchen, keep their rooms picked up, etc. before, i spent the entire day cleaning and picking up. now i do about 2 hours of cleaning/laundry a day. every 2 weeks, when they go to their dads, i go through their stuff and weed out what is too small, tired looking, broken, etc.
Twitter @ mightbeatranny
i should add, that i left EVERYTHING when i left my husband. so there is less “stuff” to clean up now.
My disposable income dream is to have someone come in once every 3 weeks and clean my house. I have several problems:
1) I am a paper horder
2) I am not a neat person innately, so mess/clutter don’t bother me until it is at catastrophic levels.
3) Our weekdays just provide little to no wiggle room for time/maintanence.
Bins help, or at least contain the outbreaks.
When I reorganized in anticipation of new Christmas toys I went to Walmart and bought a bunch of theose plastic 3 drawer storages in various sizes. In which I put all arts and craft stuff and a large one for all the barbie stuff that was coming into my house. I also bought bins for nearly all her toys that aren’t books or games. This has made her clean up easy and simple and less overwhelming.
For me I have a basket by the door for paper/mail recycling so junk mail doesn’t get through the house and beside it a bin for mail that I need to go through. I probably go through that basket 2x a month. There is also a basket for the insane amount of paper that comes home from school. This has helped to contain the paper masses, but I often let all of those things pile up. However, containment has helped make the house bearable – especially during the week.
Twitter @ http://avigail74.blogspot.com
Clutter is not an issue. I fall apart when my house gets messy~ I can’t function, I wake up cranky. I’m a minimalist. I love to let go of things~ it seems like every week, I drive to the Salvation Army~ and I’m always amazed at how I’m able to fill up a bag every week. I don’t let my daughter hold on to things because she wants to (clothes that are too small, I explain to her that there are other little girls who desperately needs clothes and she’s very fortunate to have new clothes).
Everything has it’s place in the house. There’s a bowl by the door where keys go. Coat hangers right there too (in the closet, out of sight). A small box to put mail in (also out of sight). My child’s room is neat too~ nothing is allowed on the floor~ there’s also a place for everything there too. And, she has a lot of stuff, but they’re all neat and orderly. She even has daily jobs (which she gets paid for if she’s not reminded
Now we have a man living here~ he’s not the cleanest
But he’s quickly learned that once you let go of things (if it’s been in a box for several years and you don’t know what’s in it, it’s time to go)~ he’s also learned that it’s much easier when you know where everything is. He does have a little space to himself where he doesn’t have to be so neat.
Twitter @ sexxiiblogger
Clutter is a HUGE problem for me unfortunately. I just moved back to my parents house just over four months ago with my two and three years old daughters when my (abusive, a**hole) husband finally let me leave(and he is now in jail awaiting trial). The plan was to move my dads office to the bedroom I used to have and remodel the basement so me and the girls had a much larger room to share rather than cramming us in a little room. It was supposed to be done in under a month but remains only half done four months later so we are still sleeping in the living room and have no place to put our stuff. Our laundry gets folded and put in laundry baskets that sit in the living room and it’s almost impossible to clean up toys after they go to bed without waking them up. Plus the other FOUR people(my mom, dad, younger sister, and her boyfriend) tend to leave stuff in here as well. It gets so overwhelming and no one else seems to want to help, most days I feel like I’m drowning in clutter!!
Twitter @ NokomisMichelle
Dear Ashley (@sexxiiblogger) Thank God you and your children are safe! Clutter shmutter, you guys can start over now! Let the laundry alone for a day and enjoy the view of your new beginning!
my biggest problem is my daughter’s toys. she has SO many. we go through them regularly & donate what doesn’t get played with often. but what remnains just ends up EVERYWHERE. my 6yr old & i share a one bedroom, 3 room apartment. it was easier when she was younger, but the older she gets, the more stuff she gets. she has a toybox, & i tried putting toys in ziplock basgs, but its not helping. i am going to get a few of those plastic drawer sets, & ditch the toy box. if this doesn’t work, i am going to go through the house with a large trash bag, pick up the toys, & hide them in my trunk until she can learn to clean them up & not leave them everywhere.
Twitter @ singleguywkids
Clutter, Clutter Everywhere! Ughhh! Huge problem at my place between old clothes my kids decide don’t fit anymore and all those junk papers they bring home from school. “The ones I will read later” but never get to.
When I first set off as a single dad, I decided to de-clutter all the things that just weren’t important or useful. I have a general rule around here. If we don’t use it for six months to a year… It’s goodwill or trash!
However, this seems like a never ending battle of keep and keep nots. I always find myself constantly de-cluttering. lol
My biggest issue is what do I do with the zillion things that my little man brings home from day care? I mean come on already… How many macaroni pictures do I have to keep for “keepsakes?”
Twitter @ jeciwall
I am OCD and very neat so clutter is pretty easy for me since I have a system. My son also knows how “mommy is”. Every night he has to clean up after himself before bedtime, he knows if any of his stuff is left on the living room floor that it goes in the “trash”. This keeps him pretty motivated to help me keep the house clean.I have also set up a recycling center, which makes the paper clutter so much easier.
We also clean out toy boxes and closest once every month and make a trip to the Goodwill. I always get my son involved in this and let him decide what he no longer plays with and can give to charity. He has learned some good lessons about the less fortunate this way.
As far as my son’s artwork, I initially keep it in a folder (so I don’t hurt his feelings) and then usually once a month I pick out 1 or 2 of his best pieces. I have one of those under the bed Rubbermaid containers where I put all of our keepsakes.
Being a single parent, working, and going to school is challenging for all of us, so Yes the kids should HAVE to help with keeping the house clean. My son is now 8 years old but when he was younger cleaning was a fun game for him, now it’s all about allowance.
Twitter @ mightbeatranny
i don’t have my kids help out BECAUSE i’m a single parent. i have them help out because i’m not their maid, and when they move out into their own place they will need to be able to cook and clean and shop for themselves. if we clean up all their messes (literally & figuratively) they won’t be able to do it for themselves.
i have a friend w/ a 19 year old who graduated from a very good private high school. not only is he not in college, he has no job and can’t even do laundry. this mom sat with him every night, and nothing was ever required of him chore wise (he’s never had a job). this was to make sure he got good grades. he’s 19 and never been reaponsible for anything in his life. my friend was complaining to me recently about how her son won’t grow up. i wanted to say, “why should he? you do everything but breath for him!”
Twitter @ aprilabtbalance
Clutter is an issue because time is an issue. When the girls were out of town with relatives, I took some time off and made some major advances, but it’s the daily maintenance when we’re back to our daily routine that makes it an issue. I’m trying to work more into the daily routine, but at the same time, I also need time before bed to just be. I know that clutter isn’t the end of the world, but at some point, it has to make the priority list so the challenge right now is finding the time and energy without letting other priorities drop.
Dr. Leah “is clutter an issue for you? Of course, it is…I wonder how much time the average american spends cleaning versus organizing in their entire life span?
Chores are a never ending battle for me. Every single Saturday I spend about 6 hours cleaning the whole house. Saturday evenings are my favorite night. I can sit down with a glass of wine, and enjoy the scent of CLEAN. It only lasts a couple hours…then the toys come back out and it looks like someone LIVES there again. I am not a neat freak by nature, but the older I get the more I find I enjoy being organized and having a clean house. I love that if people randomly stop by the house, I can invite them in and not have to apologize for my mess. I will say though…each weekday that goes by…the house gets a little messier. Sat and Sun we are squeaky clean…by Wednesday theres a pile of laundry in every room…and by Friday watch out! Every week is a long week. And Every Saturday I catch up. I have a system that works for us though. I save very little schoolwork. Only the really big milestone things. Everything else goes in the garbage. I hate paper clutter!