Texting while dating: we’ve got questions
by Dr. Leah
Filed under Dating, Tips & Advice
“R U free 2nite?”
For the record, we both love texting. It’s fast, easy — and, often, instant gratification.
Texting can be quite poetic and sweet… but it can also sound so junior high.
When it comes to dating, what’s the best “textiquette”?
When you’re just getting to know someone — say, you’ve had a couple of fun, no drama dates — flirting and a “thinking of you” texts are most welcome.
But how do you feel about sending more complex, detailed texts when you’re still in the early stages of dating?
Do you ever text to let someone know you like him/her… without treating this potential relationship like a cool business deal?
In the book, He’s Just Not That Into You — the movie opens Friday! — the authors, Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, say that if a guy is “into you”, he will definitely call.
In fact, these authors say there is no truthful excuse. If a guy wants to talk to you, he definitely will make that call.
Greg Behrendt talks candidly about how his butt accidentally dials his cell phone when he sits on it — or just something in his pocket can mysteriously activate and redial the last call. Talk about no excuse!
These authors add that texting is for quick informational messages and flirting — but only flirting that will be followed up “in person” soon.
Many single parents have also told us, however, that texting is easy and simple. And your kids can’t hear your conversation.
True. But there’s nothing like a phone call, right? You just can’t beat the sound of a human voice.
Are we just being old-fashioned?
Are we making a big deal out of this?
We’d love to know your “textiquette.”
~~~
If you’re curious about Rachel’s recent texting experience, please read here….
Both of us are big fans of CREDO, a socially responsible ecofriendly phone company which donates a percentage of each customer’s phone bill to support nonprofits. You can sign up with Credo here.
|
Ultimate go-to guide for single mothers. The Complete Single Mother is the only comprehensive and best selling self help book ever written for single parents. It’s packed with savvy advice, sisterly comfort, as well as reassuring answers to all your single mom challenges. |
|
Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style. |
No related posts.
I disagree. My bf and I do a combination of texting, chatting on IM, and phone calls. Texting is a great way to flirt. It’s also how we touch base with each other when we are both at work, or at other times when we both don’t have much time. It communicates that “I am thinking about you, but I’m too busy to talk on the phone”. Chatting on IM is fun and different from phone calls. We mostly alternate phone calls with chatting in the evenings. We seem to flirt more in writing. We also send each other yahoo emails back and forth. It’s all fun and keeps us connected to each other.
Now only if I can figure out why he called me sweetheart last night on the phone??? (We haven’t reached the “I love you” stage, so what’s up with that?
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommindy.blogspot.com
I agree with Elizabeth that flirting in writing can be a lot of fun! Whether in a full blown relationship or just dating I think many guys – and women too – are more comfortable writing some of these endearing or flirty things than saying them. Texting can be very playful and hot, but HAS to be followed up on in person with action! And the first “I love you” has to be in person, not through a text.
Elizabeth: “Sweetheart” – wow! This sounds like a big step forward. Keep us posted.
MindyMom: We agree! The first “I love you” in person, of course. Texting just seems to get old (very)quick when there’s no in person follow-up.
Twitter @ http://www.cathouseteri.blogspot.com
Texting is just another form of communication. It needs to be treated as such. When there is no balance, it causes trouble.
I don’t think it matters WHAT you are texting, or even HOW OFTEN. It is just important to utilize it effectively. And since most humans are no good at communicating effectively on any level, then most texting is not done well either.
I finally set my post at Single Mom Seeking “to publish.” Oops!
My dilemma touches upon what Catty Teri says: when you’re just starting to date someone and you only communicate by text… does that cause trouble?
It has for me. But maybe I’m just over-analyzing?
I think if you haven’t met yet, texting is a cop out. You should give the person the courtesy of talking on the phone! I recently tried meeting a woman for drinks, when all she’d do was text. It really bothered me.
http://dadshouseblog.com/2009/01/28/texting-vs-calling-for-a-date
Texting me would be, and has been, a waste of time. I don’t text. I enjoy emails, or even an IM sometimes, but texting is a bother to me. Don’t feel like double pressing and spending way too much time to type a couple of words. Give me a keyboard. My phone is for talking. One young lady had sent me 3 text messages and thought I didn’t like her because I never replied. Until she bothered to read the email I’d sent her explaining that I don’t text. We talked on the phone some, but she was too hooked into texting as a norm, so I moved on. Easier to find someone who communicates via the same means as me.
M – you have the wrong kind of cell phone, honey. I got the kind with an actual keyboard and it has set me free.
I agree with others that if someone is just texting, something is off. I like a good balance, but texting does have it’s advantages. My kid for example does not love it (and I don’t blame him) when my ear is glued to a phone, but he doesn’t seem to even notice if I’m doing a few texts here and there, and I’m more present for him, too!
texting has been a big way of communicating for me and the new guy. He works longer hours than me, so we text during the day a bit because calling isn’t an option. It’s usually followed up later in the day by at least a phone call, and often, an actual date. It’s a fun way to flirt. The secretiveness (is that a word?) of it also adds to the allure, I think.