Why do single moms date married men?
by Dr. Leah
Filed under Dating, Sex, Tips & Advice
“I’m amazed at how many of my single mom friends date married men.”
A perplexed single mom told us this recently.
“I’m far from being a prude,” she went on. “But I just don’t get it. Why would anyone want to date a married man?”
To be honest, we’re also amazed by how many of our friends get involved with married guys, too. Why?
So, the researchers in us got curious. What is it about married men and single moms? In no way are we advocating being in a relationship with a married man. But we’ve reached out to single moms to get answers. They tell us:
Married men are “convenient.”
It’s is easy to fit these men in between work and parenting. Scheduling time to see each other is tricky. “Scheduling appointments” to see each other sometimes fits right in with the hectic life of a single mom.
The sex is usually fabulous. After all, these guys have plenty of experience. Since they can’t offer much companionship or loyalty, they go all out trying to please in the bedroom.
Mentoring is a bonus perk. Affairs with married men typically begin in the workplace or on business trips. Many single moms have told us that their married lovers are also wonderful mentors, who are interested and supportive of their ambitions and goals.
Married men are always on their best behavior when they are with you. They try to stay clear of career woes, and financial stress, and battles with their ex. They try to look good, smell good — and usually spare no expense to show you a good time.
Still is it is all romance and fantasy? Is it really an escape from a single mom’s responsibility-filled daily life?
Of course, there are never any judgments @ Singlemommyhood. We believe that only you should make the rules in your own life.
Still, we’re wondering:
How great are the convenience and “perks” when you date a married man?
Or, is dating a married guy the certain path to heart break and unforeseen complications?
Personal stories welcome!
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Ultimate go-to guide for single mothers. The Complete Single Mother is the only comprehensive and best selling self help book ever written for single parents. It’s packed with savvy advice, sisterly comfort, as well as reassuring answers to all your single mom challenges. |
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Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style. |
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The sad thing about dating a married man is when (and he will, most of the time) choose his wife over you and will kick you to the curb. In my case, my husband had an emotional affair with an out-of-town colleague. Granted, we were having problems in the relationship but when I found out, he told her to stop calling/emailing. She didn’t get the message and eventually my husband and I had to be quite forceful in telling her where to get off. She was left embarrassed, alone and cast out. Was it her fault alone? No..he was actually more at fault. And yes, it took us a while to get our relationship back to where it was. But at the end of the day, she was the one who felt used and ashamed. He too went through fire (believe me!) but at least he had something to work at/for. She just had a “don’t call me anymore” to hold on to. Why would you do that to yourself??
GreenEyes: Emotional affairs can be so powerful. Thanks for sharing this deeply personal story with us. No doubt, a single woman will make a better “relationship” choice after considering such an affair from your perspective and experience.
I am so glad I found you wonderful site. I have been divorced now for going on a year now and it has been the best year of my life. Although I work several jobs to support my two kids, I am very grateful as I feel like I can support my kids without asking help from anyone.
My huge dilemma right now is that although I know it is so so wrong, I have started a relationship with a married man. I have been trying to figure out why I am doing this as I know in my heart it can be damaging to his wife whom I don’t even know. I only see him when my kids are with their Dad and I have no intention of every introducing them to him. I also know that I have no intention of asking this man to leave his wife as I feel like I am only in this relationship for the physically satisfaction and nothing more. He knows this and I know this. My kids and my work are my priority and I feel like this is just a perfect understanding as there are no strings attached. I have lived my whole life in believing in God and doing the right thing and now I feel like I should renounce my belief in God as I am being a hypocrite….With my group of girlfriends I am known as the one who always has everything under control and I always do the right things. I have even helped a few of my gals themselves go thru messy divorces with men who cheated on them and now I am doing this. I cannot even share this relationship with any of with my girlfriends in fear that they will judge me. I know I need to end this now but for the first time in my life I am not sure I want to yet. This is all so confusing especially when there is no one to talk to.