Becoming a father at age 19

This week, we’ve been honoring the *Dads* we adore through a series of Father’s Day guest posts. We do our best to keep it positive and upbeat here at Singlemommyhood. Yet, we’re also well aware that many of  you — including the two of us — haven’t had our kids’ fathers around to honor on  Father’s Day.

Maybe your ex also split town. Or perhaps he passed away. Maybe he visits sporadically and you haven’t heard from him in a while. We acknowledge that this day can also be painful for some of you… That’s why we’re here for YOU.

And that’s why were also grateful to the fathers out there who are such incredible *Dads*. We sincerely wish you a very Happy Father’s Day!!

Now, please welcome Travis from Culminating Life, where he writes about being the best *Dad* he can be — along with some posts about dating! He has four living children, two boys and two girls, between the ages of 11 and 18. And he is currently in a LDR with them.

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I fell in love and got married when I was 19 years old to a single mother with one child. Yes, I’d jumped right into the deep end and became a father in one quick flash. And as a new father, I had much to prove.  I had to convince others that I was capable of doing this. There were many experts who doubted I could be a good father.

So, as a young man I began to think about the man that I wanted to be — not only for myself, but for my newly adopted child and future children. I needed my own dad early on, and I leaned greatly on him.

My father was the kind of man who hugged me and cried with me.  He told me how much he loved me. And he also disciplined in a unique way.  He used “natural consequences” — something I’ve since passed onto my children. Discipline never involved negative emotion or physical punishment. In fact, it was my father’s wisdom that fatherhood never consisted of punishment. Instead, his method of discipline involved teaching us how to respect others, and ourselves.

For example, the natural consequence to lying was that my father would openly question his trust in me, reminding me that I would have limitations in life if I was not trusted.  He also taught that work brought happiness for myself and others — and that the rewards of doing something for another were priceless. He cheered me when I succeeded, and lifted me up emotionally when I failed — as I learned my own consequences.

Since becoming a father, I’ve thought about how much I wanted to teach my children so that they can become productive members of society, and someday love their spouses and children. I have my own father to thank for passing this wisdom onto me. And, as a grandfather, I witness everyday his continual love for me and my children.

We’d LOVE to hear from other men who became *Dads* as very young men.

Did you also depend upon the example of your own father?

If not, who were your role models? Or did you rely simply on your own instincts?
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(Photo courtesy of Steve Kay)

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