Thinking about having another baby?
by Rachel Sarah
Filed under Kids, Relationships
I laughed. Ha! Me? Another baby! C’mon now.
I know that she meant well. After all, I’m turning another year older in July, and there’s nothing like a birthday to make you face your fertility.
It’s not like I haven’t thought about having another child. But during most of my nine+ years as a single mom, I’ve only been in one long-term relationship.
Last weekend, however, something happened to me. Have you ever experienced this?
I made a trip to visit one of my mom friends, Gina, who’s the divorced mom of a first grader and the owner Tumble and Tea Cafe:
A couple of years ago, Gina — pictured here — fell in love with an amazing man who adores her. They’ve just had a baby boy (she gave birth at home!), so I just had to drop by and see this little guy:
Yes, I held him the WHOLE time, and didn’t want to let go. My daughter sat patiently at my side, and held his little hand. Let’s just say that my maternal instinct got the best of me …
Without thinking, I blurted out, “I want one!”
My daughter shot me a look that said, “No way!”
Have you ever thought about having another baby?
We’d love to hear from Dads on this one, too.
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Twitter @ Jennsplace
I’ve had this urge lately too with everyone around me having babies & I’m almost 37. I chose to tie my tubes during my C-section, so there definitely won’t be any bio-babies in my home any time soon!
I always wanted to adopt even before having Noah, and hopefully when the time is right he’ll get a sibling that way. Unless I meet an amazing man with custody of his kids…. A girl can dream!
Jennifer’s last blog post..The Failure of my Education
I just recently moved from the place I was in for 2 year since I separated from my wife. My son was 18 months old at the time and as I was packing I came across all of these mementos of that stage, his baby crib, bottles, baby toys, and his clothes. What a difference between a 19-24months “onesie” and his new Transformers 4T shirts.
I just don’t know if I am really all that excited about having another one. Especially now that he can go to the bathroom by himself, tell me exactly what’s wrong with my cooking (he loves to do that) and have conversations.
My son says, in casual conversation almost, ‘when we get a baby’ or ‘what if we got a baby and it didn’t like the water like we do’ or ‘I hope our baby is nice’. I really don’t know where it comes from. I’ve been divorced for almost 3 yrs, no serious long term relationships (none my son has met). His Dad is remarried, but they aren’t planning babies. Everytime my son says these things, I say, ‘if God decides to give us another baby’……but secretly, I’m wondering if my son knows something I don’t, and it makes me sort of hopeful. But, yeah, I’m like you, I can’t be within about 500yrds of a newborn without wanting to inhale it!
debra’s last blog post..All of these things are just like the others
I would love to have another baby sometime in the near future (5 Years.) However, the circumstances would have to be completely different; that means a committed HUSBAND and Finances that would allow for us to have a Full time nanny while still maintaining a high standard of living. I have a two and a half year old, and without the help of my mom and the nanny…It would be really rough! I wouldn’t want to single parent two kids.
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommindy.blogspot.com
I’ve always loved babies – which is probably why I had FOUR. Well, that and I’m incredibly fertile but no, with my current crew and also as a single mom I don’t ever wish for more. I do look forward to being a grandmother someday though!
MindyMom’s last blog post..Just a Little Rant
Twitter @ martinimom
I have to confess: I’ve been having intense baby urges for about a year. Every time I see a baby – even a cranky screaming one – I feel the ache in my uterus. When my friends’ little ones are around, I won’t put them down. (Of course, my friends LOVE it and invite me over all the more often because of it!) So, yeah, I think about it. The timing isn’t right, but I’m hopeful for someday…
Martini Mom’s last blog post..Mommy fail
Twitter @ tailgatingtimes
I’ve thought about this quite a bit. My girlfriend wants a child but is a little bit ambivalent about it. My ex almost died giving birth to the twins and we split up when they were 3. Some people have great pregnancies and others are extremely traumatic. Although we have joint custody I do almost everything and she really is a “part time mom”. I have to admit I do think about having another child “someday” but I am absolutely terrified of going through any of it again.
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Twitter @ http://www.singlemommyhood.com
@SDMktg, you summed up my feelings on another baby so perfectly that I laughed:
“I have to admit, I do think about having another child ‘someday’ but I am absolutely terrified of going through any of it again.”
Maybe Gina can chime in about how she got over her fear…. Gina?
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommyhood.com
@Debra, after holding Gina’s baby, I kept smelling my shirt. Oh, that baby smell! You’re so right!
Twitter @ http://goingsaneinacrazyworld.blogspot.com/
No way. One baby is good enough for me. No offense the more kids I have the less time I have for me in my life. I like having the balance.
Mike’s last blog post..Oye!!!
Yep, all the time. Especially lately.
All I can say is right now thank the lawd for my IUD cuz I might not be able to logically restrain myself.
I’m thinking if things go as they have been maybe in 2 years…
Kari’s last blog post..Looking for a new rental…
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommyhood.com
No offense taken @Mike…. we understand the need to have some balance!!
Rach,
In spite of your invitation to hear from Dads, the name of this blog is singlmommyhood.com, which seems to suggest that dad’s are insignificant. So sure… why not, go ahead and bring another child into this world that doesn’t have a dad… call me old fashioned but I still believe that children need and should have a mother and a father actively engaged in their lives. All of us “so called” enlightened single parents (myself included) who now know better and are committed to doing it better the next go around; are we part of the problem or we part of the solution?
Twitter @ http://www.singlemommyhood.com
Great to hear from you Sydney and Hunter’s Dad!
I’m with you 100 percent: every child needs a mother and a father. That’s why I implied that I wouldn’t have another baby… unless I was with my life partner for the long haul. I don’t think this is old-fashioned.
We’re glad that you’ve left a comment here — and maybe this will inspire you to start a blog for dads?
Twitter @ http://lovebabz.blogspot.com
I hate that I am going to say this: But YES! I have thought about it. Now the reality is…NO! HELL NO! But I swear when I get a baby in my arms somehing happens…like the opposite of kryptonite! LOL! Seriously though I am out of the baby game, but the fantasy remains
lovebabz’s last blog post..FAITH FORWARD FRIDAY: ALLOW LOVE TO BE LOVE
Twitter @ http://wondermom-pickingupthepieces.blogspot.com/
Yep…definitely! I wouldn’t have more children unless I’m married to the right man, but I do hope to have more. I’m only 33 now so I do have a couple of years left. The man I’m dating now wants a “small” family (no more than 5-6 children spread out over 10-12 years!) That sounds perfect to me! I do think it’s cool that he’s happy with just my two…he’s never expressed an interest in having “his own” kids or anything like that. He’s one of 5 kids and he thinks that’s a good sized family. We joke about lots of things, but when we talk about it seriously, it boils down to the fact that he’s always pictured himself with several children, but he’s content to go with the flow and if it’s just my two, then that’s ok too.
Anyway, despite my aching ovaries and ticking clock, I will not rush into having more children, but I do hold out hope that it will happen someday.
Wondermom’s last blog post..I survived! Now to wind down….(probably long!)